The pitter and patter of dog-shoes across the snow,
the sound of the sledge,
the call of the driver
out into the vast empty space of the sky,
the call of the dogs
eager to get on to the next destination,
not knowing where they are going.

Burying my own wants under some man’s
keeping them locked away
but there still there, never go astray
lurking in the shadows of my mind

Raising their head now and then
but smothered by his needs
pandering to his whim
nothing matters but him

That was before I discovered self-esteem
realised I can chase my own dream
knowledge makes me feel supreme
grinning like the cat that got the cream

As I stand and open my soul,
I feel the tides.
I watch the ripples of platinum light.
I exhale, for intellectual insight.
Shallow breaths,
memories pulsating in my chest.
Am I alive?
I raze my hands,
to my face to greave.
I feel the salty breeze,
Swindling tricks of my victory.
Exposing thoughts that have never been revealed.
I feel the world spinning.
spinning beneath my feet.
caressing winds,
expose my cross to bare with reality.
I am a warrior, a guardian of freedom.
I am alive.

I came before the Lord and saw him not.
The light of God was darkness unto me.
Within my heart and mind was only thought
that blinded so, my spirit could not see.
Upon my knees I prayed he might reveal
the majesty and truth I had been told
would crest me with a balm that chance might heal.
But faith had never come to me so bold
to settle on my shoulders as a dove.
And so I stretched my hands upon the ground
to seek the harder his alleged love,
but more the hollowness within me found