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Bane
I'm talking about
conspiracy theorists
dumpster diving
connoisseurs of rot
sniffing out foulness
to circulate the www.
wanna-be reconstructionists
of a jig-sawed world
their tiny little fingers
puzzling in fury
as if animated by the gods of indignation
and rightous self-promotion
fools
(I wanted to say "fucking assholes", but what good would that do)
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
crypticbard
Mon, 2013-02-25 01:39
Righteous self-promotion
Gripping stuff. I haven't read you in a while.
I was wondering if "that ilk" could somehow be linked too "fools" in the last line.
__________________________________________________
'write on! let these words free.'
brittle light
Mon, 2013-02-25 21:18
hey CB
I think dropping "that ilk" altogether might be best. One must be ready, and able to kill off (toss away) one's darlings. Why I would consider "ilk" a darling of the piece is tooooo subjective to justify, even to myself,
so it will be easy to do. "slash and burn"
thanks for taking time on this slight little piece.
Al
crypticbard
Tue, 2013-02-26 06:51
A trimming
It may be, or a relegating of a Lego piece. It will figure in its own right when the season & Muse presents itself. I hope I have been of useful service to you. Cheers.
__________________________________________________
'write on! let these words free.'
brittle light
Fri, 2013-03-01 13:26
yes,this time, just a trim.
yes,this time, just a trim. no slashing and burning required.
your comments and insights are always useful and wonderfully communicated
Al
Ian.T
Mon, 2013-02-25 04:02
Al, A good write but I lost
Al, A good write but I lost the plot somewhere but Sparrow came in and said let me have a go at a comment today so I will leave him to it, God help us, yours Ian.T
Conspiracy Theory put about by the powers that be, where they say that each dumpster has gold flake at the bottom, so that there would be more trash recycled, thus easing the drain of resources of the economy, I fail to see that.
But they say it also puts up the employment of street cleaners that are needed to clear up the mess after the dumpster divers have divulged their crap.
The other bits well A Holes, not sure if you should be so pointed about the afflicted it's not PC.. and Anglo Saxon is frowned on, La La
Yours Sparrow
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
brittle light
Fri, 2013-03-01 13:36
hello, Ian
fuck PC
it is antithetical to poetry, truth, and real communication
I hope everything is ok in your world and life today, and for many tomorrows
thanks for tha visit
Al
weirdelf
Wed, 2013-02-27 06:49
Love it!
But it would do good to say
"fucking assholes"
It's true.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
brittle light
Fri, 2013-03-01 13:28
thanks again, Jess
thanks again, Jess
Al