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Resurect Me

As I stand and open my soul,
I feel the tides.
I watch the ripples of platinum light.
I exhale, for intellectual insight.
Shallow breaths,
memories pulsating in my chest.
Am I alive?
I raze my hands,
to my face to greave.
I feel the salty breeze,
Swindling tricks of my victory.
Exposing thoughts that have never been revealed.
I feel the world spinning.
spinning beneath my feet.
caressing winds,
expose my cross to bare with reality.
I am a warrior, a guardian of freedom.
I am alive.
I will never falter, never fail.
for the world I love the world I believe in.
Like an angle with broken wings.
I can never fly until I relinquish my inner peace,
my inner self, until I accept me.

Vincent muscato

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
this poem goes out to any one who has a hard time accepting them selves the past or feel guilty for things they cant change and things they had to do a world they live in things they've seen out of there hands. going through a hard time or went through a hard time that never leaves them fully that made them feel like a part of them died. accepting the past and realizing its what makes us who we are today is part life and part of life is letting go.
Editing stage: 

Comments

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author comment

We must all accept that things happen which are beyond our control. All we can hope for is that the good and bad might balance out. I'm not much of a free verse judge but this has plenty of imagery and feeling so It must be pretty good lol. ............................stan PS am I correct to assume you are U.S. military? If so, thank you for your service to our country

thank you for reading my poem. and I agree 100 we can only try AN be apart of the good and hope for the best.i am U.S Military. I hope u enjoyed and got something out of my poem

author comment

Firstly welcome to Neopoet and I hope that you will enjoy being here.
I loved this piece it down to earth also from the heart.
Just take care when using comps, that the spell checker will only pick up a word that is misspelt, so there are many words sounding the same that mean something different, here are just two I spied one in your poem the other in your own footnote, also there are a lot of words that have been changed in American spelling, as Grey not Gray and colour without the "u" also Honour,as languages evolve
"raze" as in burn to the ground, sounds silly to Raze it..
"Raise" as in to lift up
"there" as in over there
"Their" as in belonging to
As you write more these will become second nature, anyway that will do for now, Yours Ian.T

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There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Your poem has 23 lines, out of those there are 16 of
the personal pronoun " I " and 8 of the personal pronoun
" my " ... a lot of those could be taken out and the poem
would be improved, especially if you include the reader
somehow.

I raze my hands; I think you meant " raise ", raze means
to cut or shave.
to my face to greave; greaves are armor for shins, I think
you meant " grieve " here.

like an angle with broken wings; angel is the word you
were going for there.

It's important to edit, it is hard to read a poem when the
incorrect words are used, hard to get any rhythm or feel
for it at all.

Richard

How did Stan figure out you were military? I didn't pick it, except for the belief in self and the loyalty to your fellow man.
Like Ian said, watch the spelling.
I raze my hands,

cheers,
Jess
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