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Enchantress.
Her laugh is soft, it flutters
As butterfly wings in spring.
Her dark eyes wide, they sparkle
As the purest diamond ring.
She is the sweetest angel
That any man could know;
Yet deep within her ageless soul
Dark vices wrought men woe.
She loves to woo and taunt them,
To lead them on with guile,
To bring them pain and misery
Bestowed with lasvicious smile.
Her pleasure is to lure them
Bind them helpless then,
As victim snared in spider's web
Inflict pleasure close to pain.
With nails as sharp as cut throats
She scores their bodies deep,
She sucks the bloodied wounds
Enough to make them weep,
As all the while her laughter
Soft, flutters round the cell;
She coos words of endearment,
They writhe in self made hell.
No man who lusts is safe from her
She knows their weakest links,
And like the spider hunting prey
Destroys them in a wink.
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I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Region & Country
Isle of Wight United Kingdom
Favorite Poets
Poe, Swinburn, Bob Dylan, Many, many others.
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Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2024-04-01 09:42
Very well done...
I cannot see anything that I would change. This one is just the way I see the emotion of lust. My favorite lines?
Her pleasure is to lure them
Bind them helpless then,
As victim snared in spider's web
Inflict pleasure close to pain.
There are those that will admit, this is what it feels like; "Pleasure close to pain."[ the use of "almost" near rhyme here, is very good!
~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Alex Tanner
Tue, 2024-04-02 18:21
Thanks Geezer
Thanks Geezer for taking the trouble to comment, Your opinions and suggestions are always welcome. Alex
author commentMermaidMaster
Mon, 2024-04-01 16:32
Hi Alex!
Hi Alex!
I wholeheartedly agree with Geezer. Wonderfully written! Your prose and rhyme drew me in from the start and held my attention until the very end. My favorite lines are:
And all the while her laughter
Soft, flutters round the cell
As she coos words of endearment
They writhe in self made hell.
So clever!
Thanks for sharing'
-MM
<3
Alex Tanner
Tue, 2024-04-02 18:25
Hello MM.
Very pleased you enjoyed this. These are certainly the type of works I like to compose. I have several more in the pipeline which I hope to put together in a collection I plan to call 'Love, Lust and the Dark Angel'. Alex
author commentCandlewitch
Wed, 2024-04-03 07:29
Hello Alex,
I love the storytelling aspect of this poem. You do an exceptional job of communication.The subject focus reminds me of my older sister who is and was a complete vamp-slut. my favorite lines are:
And all the while her laughter
Soft, flutters round the cell
As she coos words of endearment
They writhe in self made hell.
No man who lusts is safe from her
She knows their weakest links,
And like the spider hunting prey
Destroys them in a wink.
in my opinion, lose the (and's) as they are unnecessary, the poem will stand strong without them. try reading the poem without them to see how it sounds. just a suggestion.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Alex Tanner
Wed, 2024-04-03 14:14
Hello Cat
Thanks Cat, your input is always appreciated. I think it was you who. when I first came here, mentioned to me the use of 'And' at the start of lines. Since then I have always tried to use it most sparingly but there are times, I think, it is almost unavoidable. Having said that I am going to make a couple of edits to see how it reads. Alex
author commentCandlewitch
Tue, 2024-04-09 06:50
Dear Alex,
you are so right, sometimes it is almost impossible to get away from an (and) lol! I like your edits, most excellent! have a great day,
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Clentin
Sat, 2024-04-06 07:04
Great poem Alex,
Great poem Alex,
I liked the last stanza
No man who lusts is safe from her
She knows their weakest links,
And like the spider hunting prey
Destroys them in a wink.
Mary Beth Magee
Sun, 2024-04-07 22:38
Well done!
I’ve known many who would fit this description. Makes you wish they had to wear a warning sign for the protection of humanity. You’ve said it so well!
Thank you,
Mary Beth
Because your words have touched my heart,
I stopped to share a little part.
Be nice, supportive, kind to all
As we walk through this Poetry Hall.
Alex Tanner
Mon, 2024-04-08 18:35
Hello Mary Beth
Thanks Mary, I may have been lucky never to have been involved with a character like this though I have known a few. Alex
author commentClentin
Tue, 2024-04-09 08:49
I really enjoyed your poem as
I really enjoyed your poem as well as the great comments.
Nice job!
Clentin
Tue, 2024-04-09 08:49
I really enjoyed your poem as
I really enjoyed your poem as well as the great comments.
Nice job!
Alex Tanner
Tue, 2024-04-09 17:44
Thank You
Thank you Clentin. Alex.
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