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sanctity of insanity (fixed verse quatrain)

the sanctity of insanity is well revered
when common sense is badly used we fear
all that's strange and doesn't fit the norm
then fall backwards into ignorance

It's seldom that we find a place where
the sanctity of insanity is well revered
and when we do it is a special place
which absence would well be feared

When a neighbour speaks in tongues and sits
beside us with his words most strange
the sanctity of insanity is well revered
if we find it in ourselves

that place within us, strange, wild, true
we worry if that place were found
but would it disaster be or teach
the sanctity of insanity is well revered

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Rough as guts, freeform meter and no rhyme. I'm prepared to work on this.
Editing stage: 

Comments

i parse

the sanc | -ti -ty | of in san|  -i -ty | is well | re -vered 
 when comm | -on sense | is bad | -ly used | we fear 
 all that's strange  | and does | -n't fit | the norm 
 and fall  back |–wards  in |-to ig  |-nor –ance  

It's sel -dom that we find a place where (I have trouble scanning the feet here)
the sanc | -ti -ty | of in san|  -i -ty | is well | re -vered
 and when | we do | its a spec | -ial place 
 which ab | -sence would well | be feared

When a neigh | -bour speaks | in tongues | and sits
 be -side | us with | his words | most strange
the sanc | -ti -ty | of in san|  -i -ty | is well | re -vered
if we | find it | in our selves

that place | with -in | us, strange, | wild, true
 we wor | -ry of | our place | if found
 if hidd | -en would | be such | a crime
the sanc | -ti -ty | of in san|  -i -ty | is well | re –vered

you may well disagree with me lol

but even though the poem doesn't seem to have either same meter, nor patterned line length, I find verse 4, only, out of rhythm

a great quatern jess – interesting topic, and an excellent and thought provoking descending line

i love the blank verse, it's not as easy as one would think to keep a poetic voice with meter and no rhyme

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

It was above and beyond to even try to parse something that I had stated was free verse, such tasks give me the screaming heebyjeebies.

Agree regarding stanza 4 too, will come back to it.

Thanks for your thoroughness and commitment, Judyanne, you are priceless. Now roll up your trousers so I can give you the beesknees stamps [grins]

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

author comment

and perhaps flows a little better as well, you reckon?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

author comment

in both meaning and flow

lol - i love your new avatar - jess you are such a slut !
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

you don't know the half of it babe

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

author comment

Only one crit i differ from the above, last line first verse would be better, ( then fall backwards into ignorance ) apart from that i think it's good. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

done

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

author comment

this should be written in tetrameter iambic or trochaic but who cares the boss says it is great and it is indeed with that refrain line. *distinuished* i would say.
happy you've joined this work shop as to give this head a task to do
Sorry , nothing to crit. after Judy's.

but can I say the avatar is a bit strange imo at least

Oops
almost forget
the sanctity of insanity is well revered......It should be indeed.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

when people disregard instructions in my workshops as I have here I usually torture them to death. I'm lucky that Judyanne is more forgiving.

the Avatar? Well, the 70s were strange times, Rula

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

author comment

As i'm in the throes of a crushing dark place today...reaching out for the life-line of empathetic souls...sod the meter, I get this.

Neopoet is the 'sanctity of insanity'

'Betty'
PS....great socks!

may the crushing Jupiter gravity of your dark place
emigrate to the frolicsome gravity of Mercury,
but don't get burned.
The secret is skipping rapidly between
the dark side and the light side.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

author comment

We missed the glam times but in the eighties
canada still had some left over

I like your work here
there wasnt much clunky at all
the differening lines fell into place
as I carefully worked them through
my mind and my saying of them

I must say this was totally different
and very carefully prepared
so it was very happy that I read this
and greatly enjoyed the work gone
into it

one question

"we worry if...Our that place were found"
it may be an aussie language use thing
but I will think of it at work
I want to understand this work better
Im not critting it here
as I like it a lot

I just want to get the flow of that line
the our part has got me thinking

Must get going to work and errand running
here in our cool but sunny city

Thank You!

the 'who' was incongruous.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

author comment

misspells are spells

thought trains
like voiced images of the mind

I admit it caught me
and I do enjoy these
Like coins minted with
errors
they become the rarest

thats what makes true
hand crafted poetry
from the soon to be artificial intelligence
poetry

why I cram and jam my titles too

smoothened out
now your work

Well done!!

friend

hey hey hey!
"hand crafted poetry
from the soon to be artificial intelligence"
You really think so?
Personally I have no fear of AI, as long as it is smarter than us, they would probably write better poetry and help solve all our problems! [grins]

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

author comment

I just think they would perhaps not have the experience
humans have...We are always defaulting from fear or
null. joy and bliss..and going forward..rewriting new
outlooks..packaging our cache and heading off on new
realms..Or idling where its safe in small apps...

I enjoy that you see it as an optimistic tool..
I do remember "Al" did have the best of intentions
for the mission!

and he did a good version of singing "Daisy"

Thank You!

He was very limited AI.
Read Iain M. Banks, the "culture" series. AI could have all human experience not just programmed in but continue to accrue experience using using humanoid avatars

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

author comment

This should not have been posted as a quatern in the workshop.

It was my experiment in in a freeform quatern.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

author comment
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