Editing - rough draft
I wish I could tell you
Everything will open up
Like a present
Under the Christmas tree.
Honestly, it takes gallons
Of strength just to make
It through a single day.
The conversations
With myself would
Make you want to
Listen to static
On the radio.
They say I am brave,
But I need binoculars
To find that person
The one who is my imposter.
No, my life is not
A floor filled with thumbtacks,
But more like a puzzle
Missing the last piece.
I can't write a poem about you either,
But I can feel it right there in my stomach,
Like I've felt it before, I could swear
I have felt this way before
But everytime it is different
I am ashamed because it is not considered normal,
To fall for somebody older than you
Neither do I believe you'd let it happen
You're a person
And people are just people
Did you think that I could warn you!
that I’d never hurt or harm
Did you pray to see the daylight
when I turned as dark as night
I am not as you perceive me
I am not one to deceive
If you only could receive me
I would give you my life for you
In the long run you’ll return to me
just to feel your body burning
Will you take me to the sea now
just to wash away these stains
Fate has bound our paths together
you agreed to take the ride
When I could not relieve you
you just left me here to die
Listen carefully
Clean your room and wash your hands
Now Say your prayers
I don't write poems anymore,
Because if you write too many
They become too corny
I don't scribble every thought anymore,
Because if I do, then my books get
Filled with many pages of ink with writings
On them that don't make sense to other people but me
I don't write about her anymore
Like I used to when I used to believe I loved her
But tell me does love make you cry, make you wish, make you beg?
Lower your self worth and crumble your world? No
I thought as much
yesterday we lost Miko
our only panther black cat.
He was my sweet kitty boy
always asking for head pats.
Cancer in his tender jaw
rapidly it spread and grew
ravaging his small body
it advanced before we knew.
a tiny bump in his chin
over night became a lump
of size and matter to us
not giving into a slump
having little time with him
Steven read while I held on
we enveloped him in love
as he would meet his last dawn.
I said
I wont cry
But, even blue skies
Make me cry
Now
Am I crying,
For you?
I miss you
Knowing
I can't have you
I love you still
Have we lost our way
Or is this just
An alternate route to normalcy?
Either way, we need
New software
Or maybe just a compass
And an old paper map.
Hate has clogged
The turnpike,
And the traffic
Keeps getting worse.
Honesty turned into
A closed gas station
That barely sees
A car drive by.
Forget joy—
She fell asleep in the backseat,
Mistaking a sedative
For a Tic-Tac.
Blood red sky,
people crying tonight
Gun shots sounding,
innocents die
Tenement buildings
crash to the ground
Mercenaries fighting
your soul's compromised
Your city will burn
and history will turn
If it's peace we desire
there are lessons to cite
listen to your brother
try not to be right
You may just discover
healing tonight!.
I already died once
Waiting for my father
To come up the steps and play Legos
He built me a ship once
And it still flies in my imagination
After
Five decades
Losing every dime at the table
I had to!
And, swallowing it down
With Gin and tonic
Whiskey and Vodka
Lines in the bathroom
Girls that never came home with me
Not even once.
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