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Fly From The Sky In July (July Contest)

Fly From The Sky In July
With a big dump of snow
Frozen waves grow
Curling over like an ocean breaker

But still
Deadly
Quite Still
Called a cornice

Quite enormous
No visible harness
An avalanche before it launches,
Itself earthward

So me and Jase,
Eighteen and invincible
Would climb to the top,
edge to the edge of the edge of the cornice

till the world fell away
and we skied sky, snow and adrenaline
And did not die.
Fuck knows why.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Adrenaline, pure pleasure to an adolescent.
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

The first time ever I've entered a poetry contest.

The guidelines stipulated pentameter but not what sort (Iambic , Trochaic , Spondaic , Anapestic , Dactylic , Amphibrachic , Pyrrhic ? What?) so I ignored that and stuck with quatrains.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
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author comment

It didn't hurt a bit to enter did it? lol. Best of luck in contest

My anarchist mates blew up my house.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Still can ride the waves.
Sounds like a blast, Jess.
I thought a quatrain was a 4 verse stanza? Hmm
Anywho, best of luck,

~Mark~

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A pentameter is noithing by itself without a meter so I gnored that and quatrains are simply verses in four lines.
Hope it doesn't count against me that I'm an arrogant knw-it-all bastard. I do.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

a blast! Adrenaline! I wonder about the people that you meet in life; that have no emotions; the ones that wouldn't cry out in joy or terror, no matter what and have no interest in doing anything even slightly out of the box; just for the sake of adrenaline! Ahhhhhh, Nice job, in bringing a little breathlessness to your poem! ~ Gee.
.

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ta mate. glad it worked for you.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment
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