Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Long Time Lived

High gravity days
that pass so slowly
in a grey haze
days never-endin
mean I guess
my life is subjectively

extended

I must confess
it feels I've been around
for a thousand years
more or less

It ain’t all bad
in those dark extended times
not even sad
still dance a jig
now and then
for the nature of me is

irrepressible

So maybe when
I meet my young man’s death
I won’t lament
A life misspent
but glory in its joy

unrepentant

I am the friend that lived
despite all odds
fast drunken driving
dangerous drugs
smart-arse words in hostile company
thriving on extremity

the darkest acts
seemed at the time
like a good idea
don't they all?

I didn’t deserve to live
but I did
many others slipped away so easily
I will never understand
but hope to earn the privilege
retrospectively

Of knowing why

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

A very good write of searching for reasons of being.
Just found out this evening that one of my apprentices passed away on 12th of June I only wished him happy birthday a couple of days ago, these things catch up with us and it is a very sad year in those respects.
Now I hear your voice asking why you have been on the journey you have, did you not think that in your learning of all these, things you have learned so much.
So you should write these things down not just in poetry but as a Biography. Ask yourself how many have learned from watching you and listening to your ways .. The poem Is great just now need the story lol Take care my Brother we walk the same pathways , Yours Ian ..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

You have strung your words together with a simple flow, yet full of the questions many of us know. I can relate to all of it and agree with the Sparrow's review. The survivors become the teachers of those who may need a bit of help in learning how. If I have anything to critique in this, it would be to manage punctuation or leave it out entirely.

Respectfully,

with the comments and critique here, I just want add, that I would leave out the punctuation too; just leaving the question marks. Hmmmm… Would that we might know, the ways and means of Fate or whatever passes for the highway of our lives. I too, have been subject to many of the effects of life on the wild side and wonder; "How the Hell am I still here?" I really hope that we get to find out! ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.