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Life is Like a Merry Go Round

Life is like a merry go round
with its ups, downs and turn around
no matter when, where, even how
make merry, as much, in the now

Let go, set free, never be bound
Life is like a merry go round
hold on, hang on, lest it slip by
like a rare rainbow in the sky

Take risks, gamble, romance and dance
with roll of a dice, take a chance
Life is like a merry go round
plenty of riches to be found

For now trust in life after life
believe there to be less of strife
a soul shall seek a life around,
Life is like a merry go round

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

That was really fast raj, and with much joy.
Not so sure if you can go with "round" "around" and "five" "shy"
I would over look them if I am the judge.
An enjoyable read indeed.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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You are a tough teacher for sure....I knew the microscopic gaze of you and Judyanne would focus on this..lol

but tell you what? you may not have red Stan's contest syllabus, which says rhyme pattern is not mandatory....in spite of which i have been a good boy and tried to follow a rhyme pattern as much as my sonnetized mind could conjure..lol...so i guess you can spare me the stick...after all around and round are close cousins and so are five {pronounced as high Fy] and shy which i believe are distant cousins :)...having said that, i shall certainly work on those two rhymes...you may look out for the tweaks i would be giving this one..

thanks for the good wishes..

[grinning]

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

raj_sublime_ocean_cousins

hi
have we to compose and expose and repose and I suppose
all about and rout and stout and no doubt
cousins and raisins and masons only
do tell me
slowly slowly.... coolly coolly
willy nilly
but don't call me silly dilly
is this the kind of poetry votary
and
well I don't have many living ones
souls, wholes and holes
except many the ass types ....
who can we
dole pole or console
the hold their tail mail and derail

I too wasn't aware of this form of poetry called Quatern. You will know more about it if you follow the March Contest Blog of Stan or under contest tab where he has explained it in detail. I just made a maiden attempt at it in this one.

Thanks for the visit and regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

thanks shall

in both stanza 3 verse 2, and stanza 4 verse 2

A good entry Raj
I like the theme and the refrain
Best of luck in the contest
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Thanks for noticing this one and your tie to read and your comment. I will check out on the shortcomings mentioned by you and tweak those weaknesses. I know I do not stand a chance to win the contest, yet attempted this new form as a learning experience.

Much love and regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Thanks to you I have noticed verse 2 of stanza 4 indeed to be a syllable short and fixed it to make it 8 syllable. Please do let me know if it works now.

As for verse 2 of Stanza 3 i think "with roll of a dice, take a chance" has 8 syllables. Please let me know why you say i am a syllable short in this verse too.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

My mistake - I must've missed reading one of the 'a's
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

This is good ...Why have you withdrawn from the contest?
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

After my flirting with Ms. Sonnet, ..i just wanted to be sure if I can still write something worthwhile. Found this form a bit challenging..so gave it a mighty try which was the main objective...feels good that some of you from the top league found it worth contest grade..that's enough encouragement for me...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

i abandoned ms sonnet
in favour of a sonneteer
he was of sonnets
a muskateer

so now with sonnets
neither do i endear
nor do i any longer fear

It was good... I guess... I didn't really pay attention.
I was freaked out over the poetry.
"The poet has an advantage over other artists. He can actually dictate how his poem is read." Snow.
You forced me to read fast. That was amazing and closer to the heart of poetry than form and meter.
Well written.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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for your visit, read and comment. It is truly appreciated.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Wow! brilliant - I This poem is so wonderfully positive and upbeat. :) I think I should read it everyday because it is a mood changer! :) really well done Raj. :)

Love Mand xxxx

Thank you for your comment. Good to know it lifted your mood..which in itself made my effort worth the try at a Quatern...so tighten your belts and go for it in the contest....

Much love n hugs...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
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