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The Rapids (Tanka)

somewhere down the stream
bubbles of my liquid desire
become gentle waves

while sounds of ecstatic throes
vanish in the aftermath.

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


a beautiful and exquisite moment to be cherished...I love your descriptive way with words. sublime.

*hugs, Cat

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much love and hugs...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Just gorgeous! The rapids of beauty

Thank you...Teddy

Thanks for your comment ...good to know your found it gorgeous..


raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Lovely poem, raj. My thoughts are the same as Teddy's and Cat's. What is the name of this Eastern form?
Enjoyed, Gracy

"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

thanks for taking time to read and comment...

Name of this eastern form is Tanka...i am copying below from google what Tanka form is

How to Write a Tanka Poem. Tanka poems follow a set of rules. They all have five lines and each line follows a pattern: the first line has five syllables, the second line has seven syllables, the third line has five syllables, the fourth line has seven syllables, and the fifth line has seven syllables.

hope the above helps clarify your query..

thanks again..

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

subtle is the one word that comes to me as I think I am coming away with aa difeent thought

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thanks for your comment...good to know you liked it, said "I am coming away with a different thought"...curious to know what it is...

be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Hi, raj,
I think Chrys and I are possibly interpreting this the same way. For me, this is subtle - and almost perfect in its energy. Very nice.
Thank you!

i must ask, i see you have updated this but i dont see what has changed? I see this a very soft erotica and thats what i have always seen. Please spill the beans my friend, lol i am waiting.

Thank you...Teddy

A lot said and perhaps even more implied with just a few lines

thanks for reading and your comment...

be well ..stay safe dear friend...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
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