Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Rapids (Tanka)

somewhere down the stream
bubbles of my liquid desire
become gentle waves

while sounds of ecstatic throes
vanish in the aftermath.

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

a beautiful and exquisite moment to be cherished...I love your descriptive way with words. sublime.

*hugs, Cat
-

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

appreciate your visit to my page and for your appreciative comment..

much love and hugs...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Just gorgeous! The rapids of beauty

Thank you...Teddy

Thanks for your comment ...good to know your found it gorgeous..

.

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Lovely poem, raj. My thoughts are the same as Teddy's and Cat's. What is the name of this Eastern form?
Enjoyed, Gracy

*
*
*
"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

thanks for taking time to read and comment...

Name of this eastern form is Tanka...i am copying below from google what Tanka form is

How to Write a Tanka Poem. Tanka poems follow a set of rules. They all have five lines and each line follows a pattern: the first line has five syllables, the second line has seven syllables, the third line has five syllables, the fourth line has seven syllables, and the fifth line has seven syllables.

hope the above helps clarify your query..

thanks again..

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

subtle is the one word that comes to me as I think I am coming away with aa difeent thought

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

thanks for your comment...good to know you liked it,...you said "I am coming away with a different thought"...curious to know what it is...

be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Hi, raj,
I think Chrys and I are possibly interpreting this the same way. For me, this is subtle - and almost perfect in its energy. Very nice.
Thank you!
L

i must ask, i see you have updated this but i dont see what has changed? I see this a very soft erotica and thats what i have always seen. Please spill the beans my friend, lol i am waiting.

Thank you...Teddy

A lot said and perhaps even more implied with just a few lines

thanks for reading and your comment...

be well ..stay safe dear friend...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.