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She wore it on her sleeve (Idletime workshop)

She always wears her clothes
in various shades of green
for reasons she only knows
not a girl I would ever dream

Yet she walks with a gait
to show off her trim figure
not many do even wait
to let their eyeballs linger

There was a girl named Irene
who was bold and beautiful
carrying herself like a queen
looking pretty and cheerful

The day after she quit her job
all had a surprise in store
the girl who was such a snob
wore not green any more

She strolled in through the door
greeting with a smile and a nod
the bright colors now she wore
for her taste seemed very odd

I ventured to ask her why
she'd now changed to pink
she let out a gentle sigh
said "Irene" with a wink

I web searched to make sense
to decode what did she mean
I guessed there was suspense
in why she had worn green

Ah! it suddenly clicked
Green Eyed Monster!!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
This is my attempt at using rhyme which is not my comfort zone.
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hello, raj!
I didn't see your poem in the Idle Time stream until now! I really like this and want to fully understand the significance of the name "Irene" - especially with a wink, and why the speaker had to go to the web to decode her meaning. I'll come back to visit again. I am curiouser and curiouser!
Thank you!
L

Thanks for reading and your comment. I had also submitted a poem in another workshop but it perhaps didn't deserve attention of many which is ok.

In this poem Irene is just used for rhyming. The reason for the speaker to do web search is to find significance of green color which she had been using until Irene was on the scene. Green being color signifying jealousy. The title is to mean that she was already hinting those who see her that she is wearing green everyday being jealous. Hope this may make sense now.

Thanks again,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Your explanation is exactly what I thought it would be - the reason I made a point to ask is that in this day of the web, I am usually the last to know any of the more modern meanings, symbolism of words, phrases, etc. I enjoyed this unique and gratifying approach to describing jealousy.
Thank you!
L

(Also, for some reason I seem to miss a post here or there until a day or two later. Not sure why...)

for revisiting this page and your appreciative comment.

Be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

I am not in the current workshop but I would like to leave some thoughts anyway.

not many do even wait......just by taking out the do it sounds better?

That's just one example, I see you say you are not in your comfort zone with rhyme, it's a good effort so I would like to ask if maybe you could also write it in free verse to see the difference?
Just my curiosity my apologies if you are too busy.

Thank you...Teddy

good suggestion...will try to write in free verse which actually i like..

thanks for suggesting..

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
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