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shadows slowly lengthen
disappearing gently
into silhouettes

one act follows another
in a harmonic motion

birds return to nests
to chirpy welcome of mates
snuggling together

moon takes center stage
for a romantic ballet

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


Oh yes simply gorgeous your first stanza is so special and leads the poem through to the moons ballet!
Wonderful! Very musical.

Thank you...Teddy

for taking time to read. Good to know you liked it and found it gorgeous.

thanks again...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

awww how pretty is this poem especially the birds I hear them at night getting ready for bed(the birds that is lol) I find nothing to add or correct
Raj this poem had a very soothing affect on this reader

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thanks for taking time to read. Good to know you liked this poem and it had a soothing effect.

thanks again..

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Hello raj, what lovely, well crafted poems. One is a perfect haiku, it's almost alive. Could you please explain the whole structure, because I see you have some 2-liners in between. Does it have a distinct name and form?
Thanks so much for sharing your art with us, Gracy

"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

thanks for taking time to read and your comment....coming from learned poets like you it's like tonic to an amateur like me..

as to the form of 5 liner poem with first three lines having 5-7-5 followed by next two of 7-7 syllables, it is a Japanese form called Tanka... a series of them is called Renga though supposed to be written by two people...Barbara used to conduct workshops on them in the past...

thanks again...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

to have learned something that will bring pleasure. ~ Geez.

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for visiting this page and your comment...

be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
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