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Nightscape

Submitted by raj on Tue, 2020-07-28 12:30

shadows slowly lengthen
disappearing gently
into silhouettes

one act follows another
in a harmonic motion

birds return to nests
to chirpy welcome of mates
snuggling together

moon takes center stage
for a romantic ballet

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Teddy15

Wed, 2020-07-29 12:52

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Oh yes simply gorgeous your first stanza is so special and leads the poem through to the moons ballet!
Wonderful! Very musical.

Thank you...Teddy

raj

Thu, 2020-07-30 02:04

for taking time to read. Good to know you liked it and found it gorgeous.

thanks again...

raj (sublime_ocean)

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c lynn brooks

Wed, 2020-07-29 15:11

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awww how pretty is this poem especially the birds I hear them at night getting ready for bed(the birds that is lol) I find nothing to add or correct
Raj this poem had a very soothing affect on this reader

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raj

Thu, 2020-07-30 02:06

thanks for taking time to read. Good to know you liked this poem and it had a soothing effect.

thanks again..

raj (sublime_ocean)

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Gracy

Wed, 2020-07-29 16:34

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Hello raj, what lovely, well crafted poems. One is a perfect haiku, it's almost alive. Could you please explain the whole structure, because I see you have some 2-liners in between. Does it have a distinct name and form?
Thanks so much for sharing your art with us, Gracy

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raj

Thu, 2020-07-30 02:13

thanks for taking time to read and your comment....coming from learned poets like you it's like tonic to an amateur like me..

as to the form of 5 liner poem with first three lines having 5-7-5 followed by next two of 7-7 syllables, it is a Japanese form called Tanka... a series of them is called Renga though supposed to be written by two people...Barbara used to conduct workshops on them in the past...

thanks again...

raj (sublime_ocean)

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Geezer

Thu, 2020-07-30 09:04

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to have learned something that will bring pleasure. ~ Geez.
.

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raj

Thu, 2020-07-30 12:44

for visiting this page and your comment...

be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

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