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I-You-We-Us

Submitted by raj on Fri, 2018-08-17 06:07

when I becomes We,
there's a lot to gain for Us

the way I see You and You see Me
is crucial for Us

if You and I, can give n take a Wee bit
life is more harmonioUs

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

How does this theme appeal to you?

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Rula

Fri, 2018-08-17 06:55

Wow

that was felicitous. It goes for everytime.
Simply exquisite dear raj!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Rula

Fri, 2018-08-17 10:28

I've just

noticed the ending "harmonioUS"
This is a really a rich theme and yours is very inspiring.
Thank you for sharing this dear raj

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
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raj

Fri, 2018-08-17 13:58

Hi Rula

thanks for your reading and good words...you are right there is a U in harmonious which is why i capitalized it to make it prominent...

the underlying message i am trying to bring out is that if nations in long conflicts such as Israel and Palestine find credibility in these lines perhaps there is a greater chance of resolving the conflict...I don't necessarily mean conflict between nations but also day to day conflicts between people and even trifles between partners..

i don't know if this message is getting delivered....
......................................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Rula

Fri, 2018-08-17 14:04

the message

is general. It's applicable in many situations, but the situation is a bit quagmire in the case you mentioned about Palestine and the Israeli occupation. Imagine a minority to invade India. Would the indians ever live with them in peace?
If not for America to support it, Israel would never be existing till now

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

raj

Fri, 2018-08-17 14:08

Appreciate your thoughts ..

Appreciate your thoughts ...it would be applicable to similar situations is what i meant...giving Israel-Palestinian as an example...it would be applicable for even Indo-Pak for that matter...anyways it's just a thought though there are many other ramifications which increase the complexity...
........................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Geezer

Fri, 2018-08-17 14:29

Bet you...

can boil it down to one simple sentence! "Do to others as you would have them do to you!" I loved the word-play and the pace went right along. Nice! ~ Geezer.
.

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raj

Fri, 2018-08-17 14:38