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Namaste
At dusk
my palms join,
I look east then west,
In welcome and farewell,
I open them
chanting mantras of gratitude.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
lovedly
Sun, 2018-12-02 10:06
Very nice could you not make it to read
N
A
M
E
S
T
E
What is it called
it's on the tip of my mind
just a slip away.......
raj
Sun, 2018-12-02 12:48
It is popularly known as
It is popularly known as Namaste but at times Namaskar. Thanks for reading Lovedly.
............................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
raj
Sun, 2018-12-02 13:09
Thanks Mark
for reading and your good words...I wasn't aware that you are part of Neopoet's Social Media team until I saw just now that you found this worthy to include in the "potential submissions to instagram" folder with a nice picture of dusk....i thank you and IRiz for this initiative...she too creates great pics..
thanks again..
..................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Sun, 2018-12-02 10:52
How is it raj ?-memory loss no no ACROSTIC no dementia yet
N ew day all adorn
A nother one will be born
M y salaams to the one gone
E ast is the early dawn
S un the West is about to gulp
T hen we will offer divine prayers
E ven Lord wants me now to rest
I shal remove it once you have read raj
raj
Sun, 2018-12-02 12:45
appreciate your effort
appreciate your effort Lovedly...thanks
.............................
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Mon, 2018-12-03 00:06
high raj
a and e interpolated
You want me to remove it
say so pl I will
IRiz
Mon, 2018-12-03 10:28
Raj
Raj
I like the idea of the poem very much!
My only concern is the structure of your sentences.
Take a look I wrote this as a suggestion to make better flow. I keep the essence of the poem.
At dusk
my palms join.
I look east then west.
In welcome and farewell
I open them
chanting greatful mantras.
IRiz
raj
Mon, 2018-12-03 12:40
Thanks friend IRiz for the
Thanks friend IRiz for the wonderful suggestive change...appreciated and will be implemented...i will just check if it should be greatful or grateful....
i changed the concluding line from "chanting grateful mantras" to "chanting mantras of gratitude"
...please tell me which one is better and has a better flow?
Thanks again..
...............................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
IRiz
Mon, 2018-12-03 13:57
my friend, you know better,
my friend, you know better, this is your poetry
i am just super tired and trying (not always the best way) to help
hugs
i love you last draft very much, let's ask Mark to redo your insta-post
IRiz
raj
Mon, 2018-12-03 14:01
Hey IRiz
very much appreciate your tireless efforts dear friend as too your guidance..Mark may do the post if it's not too much trouble...
warmly..
....................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
IRiz
Mon, 2018-12-03 15:27
Namaste
Namaste
IRiz
raj
Mon, 2018-12-03 15:29
Namaste to you too IRiz..
Namaste to you too IRiz..
..............................
raj (sublime_ocean)
raj
Tue, 2018-12-04 04:15
Namaste Mark...appreciate
Namaste Mark...appreciate your help
..............................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
raj
Tue, 2018-12-04 12:50
Mark
you are spot on about ...if you are going to redo the post on instagram please correct that and you may as well get rid of punctuation marks as suggested by IRiz...
thanks mate...
.......................................
raj (sublime_ocean)