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Sunku 8

Grieving
Love lost
Dispair

Thinking
Future loss
Fearful

Unexplainable
Tears falling
Sadness

Editing stage: 

Comments

3 stanzas, 2/3/4 syllables per line. This is far off but very good. My reading
https://vocaroo.com/i/s01rcy4uVIxO

cheers,
Jess, Neopoet Directors
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

Your Sunku does express the fear to move on in life after a bad experience ...the third stanza apparently expresses sadness for even thinking about moving on...

I agree with Jess that there is room to work on this to conform to Sunku ...i am sure you will be able to do it...third stanza is too open to read ...

........

raj (sublime_ocean)

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