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Short Verse
Rebel child
Something wild
Hard to forget
Failure to comply
Wrong in his eye
Stupid little bitch
Can’t you change
Isn’t it strange
Left behind
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
trekker
Sat, 2018-03-10 20:54
Short verse
I love the directness and straight to the point of this poem. Reminds me of my childhood and the young women who must have had those same thoughts. Well done. I would not change a thing.
Sincerely, trekker
lonlyhrtsclub13
Sat, 2018-03-10 21:42
Thank you
I like short verse...quick and to the point...
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Rula
Sun, 2018-03-11 01:57
Carrie
Not sure, but I thought the third line in verse 1 better reads as( hard to forget ) as it is related to kind of bad childhood experience. I am sure I've missed something behind the curtains.
Anyways I liked your short verse.
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Geezer
Sun, 2018-03-11 09:41
I get...
what you are saying, but you have to know how to read the rest of the poem to make sense of the "easy to forget". Good poem though. In light of knowing the situation, you could still use the 'hard to forget". He is persistent! ~ Gee.
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This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
lonlyhrtsclub13
Sun, 2018-03-11 10:09
Revision made
Definitely sounds better. And yes he is..just for the wrong reasons
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"