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Rhyme II
Does beautiful poetry have to rhyme?
If the words flow like magic, every time
and nature is served with gardens of delight.
Where is need for perfect prose and insight?
The meaning is clear and loves message served,
I search each day for words that preserve
and deliver a rose with a note that reserve
that I will pursue loves secret each day.
No earthly expression encompasses adequate depth
to convey my beloved her meaningfulness.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Candlewitch
Sat, 2016-10-15 12:10
hello,
your language usage was good but the rhyming pattern became a bit muddled towards the end of the poem. to answer the question your poem poses is, no, great poetry does not have to rhyme. in fact, I am very fond of free verse and find it most meaningful and also liberating. I believe that alot of feeling can be lost in the search of a perfectly structured poem. that's my honest evaluation. I liked your theme.
always, Cat
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Candlewitch
Sun, 2016-10-23 13:25
I just reread this poem again...
hello again! I noticed the line with "Love's Secret" there is a beautifully haunting poem by William Blake, titled "Love's Secret" I think you would like it. it can be "googled" just wanted to share that with you :)
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
bengt Frisk
Sun, 2016-10-23 15:15
Great poetry
I agree with you about free verse and that a lot of feeling can be lost in the search of a perfectly structured poem.Why not mix it? Why not use the tools of poem like association saturated,
dense expression and internal rhyme for instance,
Another question: Must great poetry have metaphors?
Keith Logan
Wed, 2016-10-19 06:56
Also
the rhythm, never quite settled, towards the end goes completely awry.
Having said that, there is much to recommend a little rework to tidy the piece up.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
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