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Darkness
How do you find the light when you live in darkness?
Where is the path that leads toward understanding?
If God is forgiving, why is he silent without redress?
Given the human plight and suffering, is their forgiving?
Self-awareness only heightens the pain and suffering.
Escape is not an option for those lost and dying.
Almost half the civilized world lives in poverty.
We pretend to care but it is not sufficient to stop the crying.
Greed, the need to possess material goods, defines our identity.
We are burning at a frantic pace desperately trying,
to escape and using drugs as if we could rectify.
Our leaders are even more self-absorbed defining
A life style that is indolent and without value or remedy.
Punishment without escape is the end and a certainty!
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Perhaps this is dark and foreboding but so is our world filled with greed and lead by flawed leaders and their followers.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Esker
Mon, 2016-11-07 11:17
could be written by a dutchman when spain crushed Holland
the opressed but not depressed
excellent work..
I came from mid wealth connexts
but left that and lived poor
for a spell
always thriftful
careful...
watchful
and capable
if need be
We are darkness
let go of principle and value
and we are animals
join your brethren
they will define for U
your fate
how expendable U are
if their survival is stronger
then your drive
Would U help another
or turf them under the bus
to join...
maybe do such a thing
many do
am I radical..No
We are human
rational and careful
each human has keys
of intelligence
the next corner of the
maze to solve
If I was so brilliant bright
would I be wasting time
here...No...
I devote time here
seeing in poems like
this the light of reason
hope..
whats left of dignity
in a world
gone mad
I made it this far
and Ive been through
much
asked of much
decided much
I remember the boots
of those on my head
the only move they knew
and how hated the others
were of them for that
...We work together
only the haters work truly
alone....
thank U!
themoonman
Mon, 2016-11-07 16:34
Hi,
Great content but ... this piece is missing
the music, the smooth flow of words falling
as they are read aloud. I suggest reading
more poetry, Billy Collins is one of my favorite
modern poets.
Richard (themoonman)