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In the Glimmer
In the glimmer of light shining through the Texas Pines
I stand still near dusk aware of a presence a voice.
“Who are you?” I ask startled by the tone and choice
“I am the light that is the last hope for humankind,
Sole proprietor of the sun and your savior.
I control your destiny and your behavior.
Just as fast as this light, will cloud your mind
In a minute life will be over and unwind.
You will have no memory of the darkness.
I lovingly hold you and embrace your consciousness,
keeping the dark shadows at bay,
So remember life’s brilliant flashes that steal your breath away”.
Such is the essence of life more memory than substance
More fading light than brilliance.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Esker
Mon, 2016-10-10 09:29
breath of peace
meditation
and yet in the malestrom
sometimes comes the voice
of reason...the peace and calm
that enables in stress
or sublime thinking
the rational that arrives from
outside us
the Spirit of generosity and respite
rest and resilience!
many such moments and witnessed
miracles I have seen
on this long road of life
full of Kings and Fools
manipulators and makers
Givers and Takers
a brave poem
full of hope and notation
of things greater then
just the nit picky existance
well written
Thank U!
Mr Wolf!
uglywill
Wed, 2016-10-12 04:22
To Mr. Wolf
Thank you for your review and insight.
Bill
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