Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Relaxing with a Dram of Scotch

The sun splatters memories
in dapples, on my outstretched legs
as I sip thoughts, contentedly,
from history held in a glass.

And within these moments appears,
in the final notes of twilight,
contentment and an end to fears
in the wake of Dusk's last measure.

So with the day, so pass my cares,
as Night embraces Day's last breath
and saunters among, unawares
of naught, save exhilaration.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

language is too. I found it easy to read and the story good. As I was saying to another poet here, I find that I am liking this new style of on and off again rhyming. Nice to see you here, haven't seen you in a while. ~ Gee

Comments and critique are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

I've been preoccupied with finishing up three books and looking for a day job, but I have missed Neopoet and am going to make an effort to be more engaged.

I find contests an excellent inducement, I think mostly because half the decisions are made for me and there is the convenience of a deadline.

There's a lot to offer and if all that happens is a minority of folks who are interested in true craft and progress keep pushing each other forward, it will be worth it.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jonathan Moore

Annoying the world, one person at a time

(Group discounts available)

author comment

I found the style as free flowing as the thoughts or reminisces captured so perfectly, as too the mood is very perceptible. All in all a great experience to read good poetry from the likes of you.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

I appreciate the thoughts.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jonathan Moore

Annoying the world, one person at a time

(Group discounts available)

author comment

.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

That is very kind.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jonathan Moore

Annoying the world, one person at a time

(Group discounts available)

author comment

It is not kind. I hate bad poetry and though I try to be polite I will usually tell someone when the poetry is less than stellar.

In your case... I can't help you.
You perhaps though could help me.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

loved the way the words flow.

Alid

I'm in agreeance with Wes - i like all your works, and find little to offer in way of critique
i especially like the consonance of 's' throughout this write... it gives a feeling of relaxation that matches the theme.
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Thank you booth for the review and comments.

I get easily distracted but want you both to know that I value your input.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jonathan Moore

Annoying the world, one person at a time

(Group discounts available)

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.