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Never Call Your Soup Insipid
Standing by a kiosk
slurping on my soup
finding it insipid
I was about to throw
when my eyes gazed through
a pair of famished eyes
fragile and empty
like a pair of beggar's bowls
crystals in my eyes
turned my soup saline
spoonfuls of that syrup
lit up those vacant eyes
watching those rainbows
cleared my misty eyes
easing the storm
brewing inside
I paid up at the Kiosk
for a handsome gift
thanking the lad
for his generous Tip,
"never call your soup
insipid again"
I walked home
a millionaire!!
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
loved
Fri, 2011-01-28 17:08
I once had a similar experience
the man who heard me standing by
was the owner ,
he replaced it
and charged nothing
how grateful ,
no not for me,
his image saving
he bowed
so others could see
loved
raj
Sat, 2011-01-29 14:44
Dear Loved
thank you for sharing your experience...i just revamped this write...you may want to take a re-look when you happen this way...
much love..
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentmand
Fri, 2011-01-28 18:26
Hello Raj
Woow! I love this one. The change in perspective - the boy was so grateful. I love the expression "his smile was enough to turn grains of salt in my eyes into sugar",
I paid the cashier
and thanked the lad
for his generous tip
"never call a soup insipid"
I walked home
a millionaire!
This is so human!
Thank you for sharing.
Love Mand xxxxxx
raj
Sat, 2011-01-29 14:46
Dearest Mand..
thank you for your kind words....i just revamped the poem..you may want to re-look at it if you happen to visit this page again...
much love...
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentraj
Sat, 2011-01-29 14:48
Dearest Shirl...
thank you for your comment..surely you caught the essence of this write and the bitter truth...
much love..
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentloved
Sat, 2011-01-29 15:19
YOU WERE ALWAYS A MILLION AIRE
You Were A Millionaire
Very few folks
Love to share
Even free air
You gave the kid your soup to share
Twere best both were
Lovely millionaire
About in the air
Your love with each other
You did share.
loved
raj
Sun, 2011-01-30 04:58
Dearest Xena..
i appreciate your comment and thank you for pointing out the errors which i will coreect immediately..
much love
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentscribbler
Sat, 2011-01-29 23:21
insipid
no matter the hardships we endure, we never have to look far to find someone in far worse shape..................scribbler
raj
Sun, 2011-01-30 04:56
Dear Stan
thank you for your comment which is the essence of this write..
raj (sublime_ocean)
author comment