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Introspection

I know not if I'm an introvert
or an extrovert
or somewhere in between
like a mixed bag
of vowels and consonants
trying to figure out
their sequence
which could best fix
my puzzle

Within sealed lips
my thoughts keep winding
and unwinding
like a rocking chair
going back and forth
and amidst the tick tock
I search for that pause
which could unscramble
my void

I keep spinning
like two sides of a coin
getting tossed up
day in and out
suspended in space
till I hit the terrain
prostrate
coming up heads
or tail

I know not
if I am this or that
Ace or Jack
or a Joker in the pack.
When I look in the mirror
I know who I am
within and without
up side or down
Period

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I loved the whole poem but I felt the ending was a little weak for the poem it just didn't have the zing I was looking for , I will come back tomorrow night and maybe be able to help you with some suggestions right now my brains on hiatus lol I am totally wrecked

I will return tomorrow night with a fresh mind hopefully full of ideas

love and hugs JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Thank you for stopping by and the read...please do make suggestions when you get some leisure time..I will certainly look out for them... love n hugz...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Introspection, I wrote one on this subject with the Great Spirit Bear as the main character, I shall PM it to you, not sure if it is still on Neopoet as I unpublished a few of my pieces just to tidy up and put them on another site.
It is hard to write of a feeling especially about the balance of thoughts within your own life's journey, always remember that the reflection of you in a mirror is looking at the past, does it really exist, if you disappeared instantly the image would live on for a few moments in our made up time.
A strange vision where we can only see the past, yet it would live on after we had left, I wonder what Now looks like, it is something we can only see with our think.
Loved the write and as Jayne says the end could hit harder.
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thanks Ian for your time and the read and appreciate your perception of the mirror image...I will look out for ways to improve on the end lines...regards...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Introspection... An introspection is an examination of someone's conscious thoughts and feelings. In your introspection, you not only examined your thoughts and emotions, you also captured them, seized them, and displayed on the canvas of a computer keyboard. In your own introspection, you introduced the possibilities of life and unlikelihood of oneself with brilliant metaphors and compelling light rhymes. I can almost sense you looking for more in this lifetime, but you were still situated where only time have placed you. It is my belief that your technique is a rare quality that many writers on here and abroad long to have. Thank you for sharing such a lovely account with yourself and time.

V/R,
Lamar of Liberty City

Thank you for your time to visit this write and provide a detailed account of how you perceived it. I may not be as good as you have said about me, but yes. I try to be who I am and try to improve myself continually by picking up areas of improvement through comments of others. Thanking you for your encouraging remarks...

regards...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

you seem to with '''know ...'' to be toying
once i had a friend
he'd always say
you know
for anything you may not know
then one day you know
what i told him so
you know
then why should i say
when you know
you know!
let Jayne also know
we both know

loved

hahaha I am clueless I don't know what you mean !

zips lips... love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Jayne... You know exactly what to know. "Loved", that is indeed a nice comment.

V/R,
Lamar of Liberty City

thanks again

loved

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