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A better place to be

Today I enjoyed my mind,
it might not seem a big ask,
I’ve been doing it most of my life,
Often wondering
if it was as much fun in other people’s heads
as it was in mine.
A dangerous neighbourhood at night,
but which of the best places aren’t?

Today I enjoyed my mind,
it hasn’t happened much lately
but today is today

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
ta for Juduanne for the ending
Editing stage: 

Comments

I'll keep coming back to this until I can give a reasonable ending.................stan

One good day is enough to live for.

Anything anyone could say would be Hallmark bullshit about the future.

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

never underestimate the power of the scribbler lol............I'll come up with one if it fries my brain

is a great ending
- imo of course

i would suggest you break that one long line up a little - maybe
'Often wondering
if it was as much fun in other people’s heads
as it was in mine'

lol
i really like
'A dangerous neighbourhood at night'

one's own mind
it's a good place to be at peace in isn't it
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

that was the right ending.
You are great.

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

"As the mind once again took control" would be an apt ending for this piece but it needs a lot of work.
The theme running through is held there, but seemingly behind bars of self mistrust, dare I say any more, Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

let's just say I had a good day and they are so rare I wanted to celebrate a bit.

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

There are more good days to come just wait and be patient, why do you young ones want everything in one go, lol
I think I forgot to say I liked the frankness of your write it seemed quite natural, Take care young man and know we think of you, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

oh, that does not mean that poetic technique can't enhance simple truth. Sometimes plain words are best.

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

Well done ! I enjoyed the natural, easy cadence,

joe

that is an nice compliment. Although you know I have studied many forms of poetry, I believe a natural (sounding) cadence works best. After all, what are we trying to do? Talk to people.

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

As a whole, it put to words that which is hard to understand. But I do.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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I wrote something in almost non-verse that you seem to appreciate.

Where we are so different, and so important to each other , is that if I could say a poem in one word I would. Yet I understand that you could say a lot more in epoesy (is that the word?). And I would like to learn that too.

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

I count you among my mentors.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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Told you I'd return lol. I see you deleted last line so my suggested change os moot. But since I went to the trouble of thinking up a non-cliche I figured I'd pass it along :
"however rare". So trash or use as you see fit..................stan

true

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

But only the first 8 lines. The last 2 lines did not add anything for me

Today IS today

for me

the but for me causes a doubt
in which the above of body is much strength

today is today for me is like Tiderah! giving of the finger
in leaving...for Male or Female heroinne hero bad ass or villian

other then that I like the poetry of late from you!!!

Thank You//

End line as line nine -"today is today"
So beautiful the whole xxx

I am late coming to this

I can't find anything I would change

Love the ending

Adore the poem as a whole

Cheers Jc xxx hugs

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

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