Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

•Paddle Life•

Under a scorching sun, that arose my sweet sweat,
and this gave life to me.
I went in a boat with my father, into a big sea,
the boat is as blue as the ocean and white as the garments of an Angel.

My dad lent me a paddle with one in his hands,
we dug in deep our paddles in the sea, floating on our canoe.
there we saw a mountain hill, a giant hill like Goliath.

Nearer is a mighty forest, where the known and unknown creature exists.
I was dumbfounded by the tale he told me
about this known and unknown fantasy.
"I would love to go there, but he said no to me".

"son be eager to know unknown of what you do"
'why I gave you the paddle, was for you to learn how to paddle life'
"If you know not, strive to know".
"Now you gave a try on how to paddle life".
"life is a class of test, death is our home of rest".
"I will ever not forget how to paddle life in my second coming".

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.