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• Valentine lover's •

My pen and paper are the lovers of today.
Red ink and white paper sit under a flower,
counting the falling buds of February
kissing the sands and shaking hands
to dance with the wind.

Tongue of pen lick the lips of paper like orange.
The pen will say:
I'll write lyrics of love on your lips with blood of my ink,
and I'll make you stain
so you could not wash me,
my words will remain like scars on your body
boldly written on tombstone,
and I'll store them in the gallery of your heart, I'll hide them like diary and it will be known in history like Romeo and Juliet..
I'll put chain of words on your neck and drag you like dog anywhere we go..
I'll make sure you lick every fruit planted in my farm.

And the paper will say:
Listen, your words mellow my heart, you're the soul meander
I'll live to let you write on me,
throw every arrows of red ink on my lips
I'll bend my back, walk on me like bridge.
I'll float like boat on ocean, paddle me to sail.
In all my life we can't be separated, we are inseparable..
I'm paper and you're pen, write on me, everyday is our day after today.
And our love will live long like the wind, from generation to generation.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

A good name for this one. Some of your lines run on and on. I would cut them shorter.
Here is how:
I'll hide them as in a diary, and it will be known
like a Romeo and Juliet.
I'll put a chain of words around your neck
and drag you like a dog, everywhere we go.

I'm paper, you are pen, write on me
everyday is our day after today
and our love will live long, like the wind
from generation to generation

I don't want to rewrite the whole thing for you, you will never learn that way.
Just look at what I have given you and I thing that you can figure it out.
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thank you for cutting short. I'll try to cut the whole by editing it straight to the point.

Collins

author comment

Surely "lovers" ?

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

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