Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

An Equinox Prayer

At the balance, a fulcrum
at the crisis, a stasis
as days and nights come equal
may you find power in stillness
and reflect as we move into
the season of night
on dreams and rest and healing
may you have them in abundance

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Only about two and a half months late, but autumn equinox happens every year
Editing stage: 

Comments

and here and away, I thought you were an atheist.
;)

I love this - it carries an evocation of spirit that I can feel as I read.

No critique, except for perhaps a review of little words, possibly un-needed.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

does this edit reflect what you meant about little words?

Yes, I'm an atheist. I use shamanism as a psychological construct to deal with matters as yet un-explained by science.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

it is much smoother and tighter, and more active too, as a ritual prayer should be.
I explored shamanism in my younger times, and still find certain of its processes and techniques very useful in changing states of conciousness, particularly the use of music, drumming and chants, although I find the forces generated a little slow in building.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

my poem 'Watermana' is a transliteration of a Shamanic trance
http://new.neopoet.com/node/2465

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I asked you if I could make a copy of Watermana, some time ago, and I still read it, in some of my favorite water-strong places, when I do not want the modernity of computer systems interfering with my spiritual experience of the place. For anyone interested, I highly recommend it.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

I too observe the equinoxs and the solstices. A fine poem which I appreceate.

always, Cat (and brightest of blessings to you, an athiest)

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

it's not religion, barely spirituality, pure pragmatism. We need to connect to our planet and its cycles.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

This should go into a deluxe Hallmark. You know I'm not crazy about free verse, but this is so subtly phrased as to be more than attractive to me. Sorry this is only a comment and not a biting critique, but I couldn't find anything wrong with it. Woe is me. wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

on some of my 'old stuff' is a compliment.
Thank you.

Critique... ?
when you can

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I said "Only about two and a half months late, but autumn equinox happens every year"

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I, too, was surprised to see 'prayer' in the title - and braced myself for something offensive and off-colour. Instead, I read a quiet brilliance that warmed my soul. Epitome of conciseness, and I especially liked the usage of 'fulcrum' in there. The natural balancing of the scales. I hope you have found the 'balance' in your life as well, friend.

~ Jess K
"A parakeet is one who takes care of you until the real keet arrives.." - George Carlin http://www.centranthus.blogspot.com

they must lead truly horrible lives"- Bukowski.

Don't know if you would call it balance, but I managed to keep my xmas inventive to a minimum this year. Didn't even hire out all the Alien movies to celebrate.

Ta Jess

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.