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"Tomorrows Breath"

Plastic feelings,
long ago melted.
Dried prisms,
turned to crystal.

Obsolete dreams gone,
a fantasy replaced.
Fated words,
never again pass lips.

Once forgotten,
time holds no meaning.
Beyond our reality,
into tomorrows breath.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
A very short poem, and another attempt at freeverse.
Editing stage: 

Comments

I'm glad you liked it, I'm not too comfortable with freeverse yet.Your comment means a lot to me, thanks again Shirl:-)

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

fooled me! This looks like you are very comfortable with free verse. Excellent work, my friend! I really enjoyed this, and got a lot of emotion from it, which is why we write. ~ Gee

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
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I'm glad you enjoyed it, Ive been applying the lessons Ive been learning here.

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

This poem flows with a natural grace and ease. My favorite lines are:

Once forgotten,
time holds no meaning.
Beyond our reality,
into tomorrows breath.

and once we are forgotten, we exist no more. One of the reasons to be a creator of art...through our work we become immortal! I really like this one. I have no suggestions, just appreciation for the work.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

I'm glad you liked it, and may I add that you seem to be liking all the same lines that I do, lol.Thanks again Cat:-)

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

I enjoyed this one from you, the fifth line" obsolete dreams gone" does throw me a bit, just my opinion :)

The fifth line, it makes sense if you've ever felt this way.I appreciate you stopping in and commenting.

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

I don't know about it being my best ever, but I wont argue, lol.I like the title too, thanks Rosi:-)

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment
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