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"Tomorrows Breath"

Plastic feelings,
long ago melted.
Dried prisms,
turned to crystal.

Obsolete dreams gone,
a fantasy replaced.
Fated words,
never again pass lips.

Once forgotten,
time holds no meaning.
Beyond our reality,
into tomorrows breath.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
A very short poem, and another attempt at freeverse.
Editing stage: 

Comments

I'm glad you liked it, I'm not too comfortable with freeverse yet.Your comment means a lot to me, thanks again Shirl:-)

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

fooled me! This looks like you are very comfortable with free verse. Excellent work, my friend! I really enjoyed this, and got a lot of emotion from it, which is why we write. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Ive been applying the lessons Ive been learning here.

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

This poem flows with a natural grace and ease. My favorite lines are:

Once forgotten,
time holds no meaning.
Beyond our reality,
into tomorrows breath.

and once we are forgotten, we exist no more. One of the reasons to be a creator of art...through our work we become immortal! I really like this one. I have no suggestions, just appreciation for the work.

always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I'm glad you liked it, and may I add that you seem to be liking all the same lines that I do, lol.Thanks again Cat:-)

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

I enjoyed this one from you, the fifth line" obsolete dreams gone" does throw me a bit, just my opinion :)

The fifth line, it makes sense if you've ever felt this way.I appreciate you stopping in and commenting.

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment

I don't know about it being my best ever, but I wont argue, lol.I like the title too, thanks Rosi:-)

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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"

author comment
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