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Shoes in the Army
My life is on the anvil
where my shoes had been
while waiting for the craft
from the cobbler of life
I know not from whose hide
these shoes were made for me
they walked me to my destiny
which the cobbler had in mind
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
Last few words:
Anvil here is used in the context of the Anvil used by a cobbler and not an iron smith
Editing stage:
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Comments
Eumolpus
Sat, 2018-05-26 20:27
your poem
There is a lot here, and the idea of a cobbler as a life symbol is very interesting. The writing is short and tight. I think the idea of fate represented in shoes is strong. I remember in war footage all the shoes of the dead soldiers are stacked, to be worn by others. This certainly was true as well in the civil war when most Confederate soldiers went barefoot into battle.
I have to point out
At first the image of the anvil and shoes made me think of horseshoes, and that perhaps the poem was about military horses.. but then the shoes were made from a hide, so dropped that idea. but for me, the anvil is not associated with a cobbler but an iron worker.
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
raj
Sun, 2018-05-27 03:00
Thanks Eumolpus for taking
Thanks Eumolpus for taking the time to read and comment which is appreciated.
I suggest you do a google search on Cobbler's Anvil which would confirm that cobblers too use an anvil and also see its images.
regards...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Seren
Sat, 2018-05-26 21:43
Hi Raj
Hmmm this ones very different from your normal fare. I think its clever that in two stanzas you've conveyed so much. I have one suggestion that you may use or ignore. But tying in with the cobbler theme instead of anvil maybe use *shoe last*
I really do like this very much. Maybe there is something I'm missing with regards the anvil ? If there is I'd love to hear it.
Well done :-)
Love and hugs J xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
raj
Sun, 2018-05-27 03:04
Thanks Jayne for taking time
Thanks Jayne for taking time to read and comment. I do acknowledge that an Anvil is more associated with an Iron smith. However as i have mentioned in my reply to comment of Eumolpus Cobblers also use an anvil as ou will find out if you google "Cobbler's Anvil which also provides its pictures
warmly
raj (sublime_ocean)
Seren
Mon, 2018-05-28 01:43
Wow !!!
I love learning new things. Funny thing i googled cobblers tools before I made my first comment. And there was no mention of it. I will definately be looking it up. Thanks for fhr lesson.....big smile
Hugs Jayne x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
raj
Mon, 2018-05-28 04:57
Dear Jayne
It can happen
when you google search for Cobbler's Anvil you will get to many resources including pictures and YouTubes
be well,,,hugs..
raj (sublime_ocean)
Eumolpus
Mon, 2018-05-28 12:12
interesting.
But as a few of us were unaware of the cobbler's anvil I would only suggest you either footnote it or work around it. My own opinion is that if there is something you want to express in a poem that is clear to you by not the general public, and might lead them in the wrong direction, it creates a distraction to the reader which I try to avoid. But that's just my own very personal aesthetic which some people think is valid, others not.
..
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
raj
Mon, 2018-05-28 14:04
Thanks Eumolpus
for visiting again. Noted your suggestion and have added clarification in Last few words..
............................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)