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Lovestruck

Submitted by raj on Tue, 2015-10-06 15:07

Life was lived in moments
letting them slip
like sand through fingers
walking past them
leaving footprints
to be swept by a tide

little did the tide know
what those footprints had to say
the sand kept those secrets
till they wore away
like sea shells

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

scribbler

Tue, 2015-10-06 15:16

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No chopped prose here!. In my opinion a most excellent free verse with good use of metaphor.......stan

raj

Tue, 2015-10-06 15:21

Thanks Stan for your time, visit and comment..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

lovedly

Tue, 2015-10-06 21:14

lovedly's picture

just
A S T O U N D I N G

Rula

Fri, 2015-10-09 12:08

Rula's picture
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"little did the tide know
what those footprints had to say
the sand kept those secrets
till they wore away
like sea shells"

Raj, this is specially awesome!!
PS. Is Lovestruck one word?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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raj

Fri, 2015-10-09 13:58

Thanks Rula for the time, visit, read and comment. Good to know you liked the second portion of verses...

Not sure if it should be Lovestruck or Love Struck or any other title..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Rula

Sat, 2015-10-10 09:33

Rula's picture
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can be anything you feel the poem conveys.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

raj

Sat, 2015-10-10 14:21

Rula, I am still thinking about a change in the title.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Seren

Sat, 2016-03-05 12:44

Seren's picture

I was going to come across this

What beautiful freeverse I feel privelaged to read poetry this good and be lucky enough to be able to discuss it with the poet ..

This is profoundly good my friend .. such a pleasure to read ... sigh

Love Jayne x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

raj

Sat, 2016-03-05 13:42

thanks for the read and your comment which will inspire me to write better...

Take good care..be well..

Much love and warm hugs...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
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