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the stars quiver
brain a husk of puddled amyloid plaque
like grey powder edge
blossoming a slow disaster
from dizzied star chandlers

voice winged souls harmonize
in a citadel of nothing

the revelation of no - thing
at all

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


Welcome welcome welcome to Neopoet !!!
Thank you for your thoughtful and very kind comments ...very appreciated ;)
I hope you enjoy posting and find value and pleasure in your interactions with our menagerie here

Warm Regards Z

author comment

is much more than what a normal eye can see
It has SCIENTIFIC meaning
some day you will see
when Lovedly reveals

you have your own vision undoubtedly
that's why you have stopped reading me
do as you so please
ny rgds won't cease

Im gun shy ;)

author comment

there are people here, that will take your words to heart and love you like the lost brother you are! I get it! Where to find peace? ~ Geezer.

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

Thank you my dear brother for that!!!!!!!

author comment

starving hysterical naked"

Yeah, dig it, man.

Jess, Neopoet Directors
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

Yes Ginsburg I know it well
Our 60s generation It was a brilliant time and I always felt Allan was its spear head
Damn why didn't I think of those lines ;)

author comment
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