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DAda Warp Land ...Ero Guro Poetry

i'm unwinding my head
on
honey moon belly
sucking carnivorous losanges
falling in love with glazed
eye ball devils
hypnotic stare

destination
a tunnel of fiendish odysseys

blood drooling eel
vomits gush white
daddy long leg threads
in honeys wet cage
to wither
writhing spit hot
in fat muscle and bone
headless
head first
like a mindless falcon
after scattered mice

i feel her teeth tearing
syringes of ecstasy
ransacking swollen motion spirals
and cocks like bronz buckaroos
at a fancy pool party
crimson cum macabre
weenie roast bon bon fire

licking her lump of desire
a rousing bogyman sermon
speaks in incinerating tongues
swallowing a hideous parfait

slut growl
girl squat
scum twat
mint julip throat
choke symphony
abducting lascivious pollinated gulps

take me in like reckless bull sap
through your red
dada warp land
pit of the brain
undulant flesh landscape
of shapeless ovule spume
mouthing night blows

incised flagellation's
devour buffet spread maiden derelict
arched and trembling
drunk and drugged
like a buttermilk sky
groaning hysterical
in feral muck stained beds
of puce and slime ochre pigments

stunned umbra
a famished
deep veined jutting peninsula
longing for princess bitch dynasties
while vast thighs radiate inferno hearths
and rolling hill fuck hieroglyphics
decipher rug pugilist lap songs

my goddess i long for your flavor
of bruised fruit bend over
crawling like the dead of night
on pitch vanta shadows
where love becomes a savage

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
sexual content...manga poetry
Editing stage: 

Comments

Your poetry is sometimes difficult, but I enjoy it because the connotations are often so apt it keeps me on the right track, and cause my subconscious to come to fore. But when you go ero guro on me and add a dash of dada, I find it hard to stay tuned.

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

Well its at least a chance to google them up and learn about them. Dada was a huge movement in art and literature in the1920s and remains an influence til now here in America and Western Europe and Ero Guro is huge in Japan and many Asian countries ERO...EROS and GURO ...GORE which we think of as sadomaochism among other things here. Manga and Guro are pervasive in literature since the 1860s in Asia and remain a huge film book and comic book industry in many parts of Asia
Best Z

author comment

One does not learn to appreciate Dada by learning art history, one learns it by feeling it, as you are a hierophant of.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

You dont think that naming and contextualizing creates conciousness of those things
Abstract painting circa 1917 the Russian avantgarde where the first purely abstract paintings ever seen as far as I know and it took about 40 yrs for it to surface in the west and even then it was hugely controversial ie Pollak DeKooning Rothko and others where parallel to the emergence of neo dada
in the west

Neo Dada poetry reads like a list of disconnected images; doesnt it ?

the streams buck like rams in a tent
whips crack and from the hills come the crookedly combed
shadows of the shepherds.
black eggs and fools' bells fall from the trees.
thunder drums and kettledrums beat upon the ears of the donkeys.
wings brush against flowers.
fountains spring up in the eyes of the wild boar.
Jean Arp

author comment

I already knew of dada, and I did goggle ero guro.

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

but I feel a lack of cohesiveness, almost as if it is a list in places
Here is my reading-
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0tyQ68glg4p
Do you get where I stumble in the reading? Usually my fault but sometimes an indicator of a missed opportunity for rhyme or meter.

If I was your mentor, which I'm not, we have sacked the individual mentorship program, it is too much for unpaid volunteers, I would suggest trying a few specific different styles to enlarge your prosodic vocabulary but, now don't get defensive, I am not judging, I would insist on you trying some themes outside your comfort zone- kitties, mountains, politics, anything.

When I was teaching drawing classes for a while one of my students said "but I only want to draw cats". I told her "If you really want to love and honour your cats you will learn to draw mountains and anarchy and politics". She did and she did and her cat drawings and painting are now as alive as anything I've seen.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

but I can teach and if anyone ever says that tired old saw starting with 'those that can, do...' I immediately resort to fisticuffs.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

These a re a few of my works on paper archival pigmented inks, air brush and colored pencils
https://www.instagram.com/zheesinger/

Sadly I can tell by the way you read my poem that it didnt completely work for you
I'm not sure how to figure that except to say when I read it, it does work.

I introduced Mark to a favorite poet of mine; Ocean Vuong on Poetry Foundation
Mark vehemently said Ocean was unreadable and then saw him read and had a complete about face. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/142852/essay-on-craft

Im not saying I couldn't do better structurally but I make it work when I read it
and I have often felt that hearing the poet deliver the poem supplies structural context and emotional content that may be hard to get other wise depending on the work
Having said that it perplexes me but these are not prose or rhymes but still ill give what you say serious consideration

As for my content ...In this case the tail wags the dog ie writing this kind of content is very important to me although I have written other things in other ways https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/god-1
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/unknown-address

I dont feel stuck; if I did I would work differently
I work hard on making the work sonically expansive...vowel play etc is upmost on my mind so I'm perplexed by this comment and also on rhyme and meter since in free verse there is not a metric and no rhyme.... thats why its referred to as free. Please feel free to push back if I'm not making sense; I have been writing only 3 yrs and know I have a lot to learn.

Best Z

author comment
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