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Wesley's Trochaic Quatrain (Bottom Line Workshop)

"Iamb" is Greek for "to attack in words". "Trochee" is Greek for "running".

Both of these forms are known as "Duble Meter" as each metric foot uses but two syllables.

Here then is my Trochaic example.

 

Don’t you think it’s keen to write Trochaic?

Here I’ve written something for the workshop.

Nothing short of drivel, but it’s metric.

Simply done, its form is but example.

 

Don’t you / think it’s / keen to / write Tro- / cha-ic?

Here I’ve / writ-ten / some-thing / for the / work-shop.

No-thing / short of / dri-vel, / but it’s / me-tric.

Sim-ply / done, its / form is / but ex- / am-ple.

 Please keep in mind you needn't scan your quatrain. Rula and I will gladly do so. However, if you do Rula says you get extra cookies.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 

Comments

I am already banging my head on the desk but here it is....guide me as I feel I am lost somewhere in the sea of metric...

Taste of / salt on/ naked skin/ so soft/ like silk

Let me know how horrible this is and how to fix it....

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I think this is great as a first line, and did I struggle with this one it is hard for us, that just write.
Well done young one, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Good to see you...glad you liked it and its good to be back

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Taste of / salt on/ na-ked / skin so / soft like / silk 

Close, but not quite. "Naked" is two syllables. The line is Trochaic, but with the extra syllable it is hexameter (six feet). Missing the unaccented syllable following "silk" makes it catalectic.

Adjust the line and go on. You are understanding Trochee. Now get the number of feet figured out. One of the hardest things for a poet starting with Trochee is to end the line on an unaccented syllable. Human nature wants to end it on an accent and make it sound Iambic which satisfies our "traditional" perspective of how a poem should sound.

Otherwise well done.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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author comment

Taste of/salt on/snow white/skin so/soft

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I think one unaccented syllable is missing at the end
or am I still sleeping?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
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Three more verses please. Then on to Dactyl.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

author comment

Ok...onward to three more verses...I take it you are pleased

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Taste of salt on snow white skin so soft
Heat of/passion/lost in/time long/ gone
Poison/heart so/dark unkept/breathless/soul
Etched in/stone fate/takes our/hand and/dies

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Poi-son / heart so / dark un- / kept breath- / less soul

In this verse you have accented "breathless" on the second syllable. The length is correct, but "breathless" needs to be moved. The rest of the quatrain works. Your only difficulty I see is a small lack of attention to detail.
 

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

author comment

One of my strengths...One word isn't too awfully bad considering my love hate relationship with meter....

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Taste of / salt on/ na-ked / skin so / soft like / silk
I think that all you have to do on this one is move the silk??
Taste of / salt on/ na-ked / skin so / silken (This is better for me)
Taste of / salt on/ na-ked / skin so / silk like..

It's such good fun if you don't weaken, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

... Carrie loves meter... Carrie loves meter... it is poetry... it is life... Carrie loves meter... when I snap my fingers you will awaken...

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

author comment

Now Carrie sure likes meter :) :)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

could prove to be dangerous....hmmm...meter is starting to grow on me...just requires me to use more brain power...damn you for making me think.... :)

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Taste of salt on snow white skin so soft
Heat of passion lost in time long gone
Poison heart so dark unkept jagged soul so harsh
Etched in stone fate takes our hand and dies

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Heat of| passion| lost in| time long| gone (half foot needed)   
Po
ison| heart so |dark un|kept ja|gged soul| so harsh(one foot too many)
Etched
in| stone fate| takes our| hand and| dies (half foot needed)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

It's only the details that are missing. There is nothing wrong with the lines. They are simply not strict in their meter. That requires only practice.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

author comment

and work on it tonight as I can, I need the right words to fit so I don't lose the whole essence of the piece...if that makes sense. I hate writing just words, I like it to make sense or have some meaning...

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

As Faulkner said, "a good poet will agonize over a single word."

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

author comment

As I can...hoping the kids are in bed early enough.....

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Taste of salt on snow white skin so soft
Heat of passion lost in time long gone away
Poison heart so dark unkept jagged soul repressed
Etched in stone fate takes our hand and dies alone

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

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