Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Good hours by Frost (Imagery workshop)

I had for my winter evening walk_
No one at all with whom to talk,
But i had the cottages in a row
Up to their shining eyes in snow.

And i thought I had the folk within:
I had the sound of a violin;
I had a glimpse through curtain laces
Of youthful forms and youthful faces.

I had such company outward bound.
I went till there were no cottages found.
I turned and repented, but coming back
I saw no window but that was black.

Stripped version.
I had for my walk
no one with whom to talk,
but had the cottages in a row
up to their eyes in snow.

I thought I had the folk within:
I had the sound of a violin;
I had a glimpse through curtains
of forms and faces.

I had company outward bound
I went till there no cottages found.
I turned, but coming back
I saw not window but was black.

This was hard.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Stripping Frost of imagery is almost impossible.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Hard to remove the imagery and still keep the meaning.
I think you've done pretty well.
I'd have probably taken the eyes out in the first stanza. Jxx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

A few more images could be removed but this will make it a bit easier to deal with later on.......stan

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.