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The diamond.

The stone crawled to the surface
seeking he who find it.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Not sure if this qualifies as indirect imagery, but here it is.
Editing stage: 

Comments

has a Lord of the rings feel. Like a lost treasure, waiting to be found - trying to be found even.
Jx

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A much better use for coal I think.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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author comment

The purpose of this ex. is more about using metaphor. I see this a bit direct. What do you say boss?
I like the image anyway sir.
Not sure about mine either.

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
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"seeking he who find it"....do you see anything wrong with this? but I like the thought of a stone moving to the ground's surface because that's exactly what they do. i recall many days when i was a kid having to pick up the stones in our pasture which winter had pushed to the ground

Someone please help me to do so.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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author comment

Unstated imagery

Submitted by scribbler on Wed, 2015-04-22 21:48

I was looking over one of the pastoral shop poems. It was the shortest one in the shop and it got my rusty brain to thinking about, of all things, imagery. This poem had little in the way of described imagery. So on first read it seemed lacking in this thing which so often separates good from excellent poetry.

But.........with more careful reading there it was, hidden Between the lines. Something I'd never really considered before. Implied imagery. Talk about the proverbial light bulb going off over my head lol. Now don't get me wrong. Stated and described imagery is still the more sure way to "paint the picture" in a poem.
But for those who value brevity or when specific imagery is not desired this implied stuff can be powerful. Eg. "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood". "Yellow".... a single word which lets the reader know these are autumn woods. And by saying nothing more this allows the reader to visualize what autumn woods mean to him/her. My understanding is that in Australia autumn woods are predominately brown. Here in the Blue Ridge foothills autumn means a splash on almost every color imaginable including areas of pine green. I've lived far enough south at times that autumn had little visual meaning except the wearing of long sleeves in the early morning. The implied imagery lets the reader choose and thus more easily identify with the poem. I expect this sudden enlightenment for me is likely old news to a lot of you but I thought I'd share it anyway..........stan
.

I like the stone scrawling up from underground.
Could it be "He who would find it" implying someone looking for it,
or perhaps "he who might find it", implying a measure of chance?

I don't know. I don't have a clue about indirect imagery either!

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

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or both. I gave it no thought when I penned it.
I suppose someone will find the thing.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

author comment
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