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Wannabe

I want to be a poet again
and dissolve into the internet to change the world

It would be cool to be able to get up in the morning
and have martial arts like Bruce Lee

Soon I might wash and shave most days
and write the greatest novel ever written

Maybe I’ll take a walk for the hell of it
and spread a meme to end poverty

Yesterday I listened to an Anthony Robbins tape
(please don’t tell anyone)
and felt some general gratitude

Today I went to a great play with a friend
and wrote this.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
It's been a long, dark night of the soul for me, but it's up to me.
Editing stage: 

Comments

At the other end of the tunnel, light! It is gratitude that opens every door.

Beautiful, Jess, just beautiful!

I promised you, but it's been slow coming.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I believe words don't change much these days. We just entertain our-selves. Don't expect much....Sorry I don't like to leave a negative comment and I'm not talking about your poem in particular but about poetry in general

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

This is my least disappointing wordcrafting in years.

I want to lead you into a Shark Pool freeform workshop soon, but I am not quite ready yet.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

That I'd be available on the very long run, so you'd better make it soon :-)
It would be great!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

Just think of poetry
Like a hobby
It doesn't feed bread
nor demolish poverty
so take it easy
Never seriously
Just then
You shall be inspired
to write what you've desired,
and it'll be fairly admired

Have peace!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

between a poet and a dilettante. If I can't write I die, if a dilettante can't they could maybe take up macramé or scrap-booking.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

beauty truth,
thanks for noticing Mark

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I think I would like this without the word ‘poem’ at the end
simply finishing with ‘and wrote this’ ….

I really like the concept of ‘dissolving into the internet’ … although – lol – I have to admit when I am on a roll I rarely have the time to wash and shave…. and personally I hate life coaches… lol

great to see you are feeling a little of the old inspiration again jess – so often, too, we re-discover our own animus within another person’s creation

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

the word poem goes.

And oh I hate life coaches, (hence the line about not telling anyone) I was just desperately seeking around for something to get me out of these doldrums and accepted some mp3s from a trusted friend. They really are embarrassingly simple and obvious, but I guess that's why they also work, like CBT.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

They ask what you do for a living. Be this girl, neighbor, friends of friends, new girlfriends. professors. Answer "I'm a poet" just once. The conversation will usually end. I don't know how it is abroad but in the U.S.
money and the love/obsession for it has been trying to whittle away anything that doesn't directly agree. An action undertaken for passion rather than gain is the stuff of scientist and artists, not economists, hedge managers, brokers. That has never been a part of my life. I'm calling the old WE and THEM from Hegel. I'll keep writing and being politically active to get the most heinous out of office. They aren't subtle. Well thought Jess, this is a manifesto.

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

the responses are varied, from fascination through disbelief to veiled contempt. Doesn't matter, it's the only honest answer. I've worked many jobs, have many skills and qualifications so the next best answer would be "factotum", which would only garner the contempt, veiled or not.

I agree that we are political by our mere existence, hence the signature line I use from Rushdie. Did you know that is also the un-official Neopoet slogan? It's on the t-shirts.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

IE Yes poetry and writing in general are vital. Look at the times in history where it was a literary source that acted as a catalyst to social change. Keep doing what you're doing. I know it's lonely. I experience it also. It has never made me question as to whether it is worth it. Perhaps the Armageddon of the bible is this conflict? Human vs. commodity. art vs a wage.
I'm young, ready to fight, it will take more than me though. I say we keep doing what we're doing.

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

and agree, the principles are a matter of existence and survival.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I know you value minimalism so you might consider dropping "myself" in line 2. Or you might consider dropping a brick on my head lol. The elegant simplicity of this poem of varied ambitions just blows me away. One of the best free verse poems I've read here or anywhere. thanks for letting us read it...............stan

good suggestion, I took it.
Ruthless elimination of the inessential, comrade!

And thank you.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

You just Wannabe, it is the end product of the want is the fear that grows where nothing else grows..
Lets just change it to I needtobe, then work at what great things you have to fill those needs.
If you needtobe a poet or writer then get on with building it up,
I have found that I have been lost so many times of late more than ever before where I feel that "What the Hell To Do Next" sits there in my head and festers all the clear thoughts that should be there..
Maybe we lose sight of what tools we are carrying with us, our sharp minds that could cut steel or build bridges, destroy all we have or make us a whole person..
I wonder what the hell we are doing sometimes who the hell are we and what is the purpose in us being.
I guess this is where old people have the edge they can't remember so well lol.
Jess you tell me in ten years if I am here that you knew what you wanted to be and made it so, Teach you we should lol.
Loves you my friend and great to see you are thinking about being, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

It represents something much stronger though, self-actualisation through self-realisation and knowledge.

Fear not for me, my friend. I don't often know what I'm doing, but when I write I usually do.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

but I value the minimalism of the piece. Best quit while you're ahead, as somebody said.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

wannabe a beeeeee

dissolve into the internet..???????
do you know… sugar dissolves in water… and is lost
so if you dissolve in the internet…. what will be the result
now you know ..
let it be otherwise ….
face realities or hide behind fake masks
and say all else..
except poetry is false
I ain't sure Stan will agree with yaa'll
but poetry across the internet is a dying art
no one really damn cares no more
not even here of that I 'm damn well sure
for you scratch my back …..as much as I do yours
then poetry my loved ones
is for me and you
that's for sure....

Wait one I do observe
all abababa cdcdcd abra cadabra style
of mundane poetry…. is being replaced …
by LOVED'S FREEE style…
coz Loved creates originality and history …
along with poetry,......
while others blow ears and noses
but still read …
you too Jess
my very dear
poet
friend
philosopher
guide what else
do you wish to hear.
loved 's own deliberation
a simplistic version
as I read Jess's
composition..
this is just a transition...

loved

I will just put a few eggs in here, like 5.
We must write, it maybe that no one takes any notice, but the writing is still there. Words pushing words for ever outward..
If you put just one drop of water in the Ocean it is still that one drop no matter how big the Ocean is..
Our families will read, and some of our friends and words spread as ripples on a pond.
And Jess is right in saying, that it is better to write in the best way that we can, be it that Jess scolds us into writing better, I feel is one of the gifts we have given to us..
Loved, your style has improved and your words flow much better of late.
Jess is searching for something he already has, it is that gift he worked at for 40 years in poetry and writing.
Now he fears a lull and being at rest, like a piece of wood on life's river he has been caught in an eddy and there he may be for a while, but at the next rains he will move on toward the Ocean again.
I am sometimes caught there in those eddies and voids of movement, then I reach inward to search for a reason and sometimes there is no reason for that vague writers block, or just listless oppression, sometimes feelings of who the hell am I, or what is the use in writing or in fact most things become quite huge..
I am lucky that I have an inner strength that is endless but I should learn to listen to its wisdom sometimes, and then I would be happy and content, always, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

as we grow with the curvaceousness of time
we learn to oscillate and rhyme,
with the tune of time
and
as we strip fellow brethren
nudify them poetically or otherwise,
then we assume a stature of which
even god would feel shy
then we feel what we garble
is solid stuff
and what such a one says
shouldn't be taken as a bluff,
for we are the creators and masters of that confidence....
none can question now or hereafter

So i bow to you
for your and Jess’s views
a simple poet
I call myself a bloody muse.
it sure does most amuse.
many gave up ere they'd accuse

loved

You have time to write endlessly and post them multiple times on Neopoet and on other sites, so you could make time to join a Workshop. You are just making excuses to avoid challenging yourself to learn.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

the water is sweetened. In fact sugar is not sweet until it is dissolved.

The rest is unusually negative for you and I strongly disagree. Especially regarding formalism versus "LOVED'S FREEE style" (you ego cancer is showing my dear, do I need to administer some nasty chemo?)

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

.I regard you
as my best poetic friends
trying to kill my egoistic mental cancer
of claiming to be a poet,
a hobby for me
thanks it’s not my bread and butter,
but still I'm your pet.(dog)

But the bitter you are
the creative I get
I assure you, some classic poetry,
I shall beget
albeit it may be a bit too late,
in the evening of my poetic life,
as you say
my words flow today,
perhaps my memory shall the masses sway
maybe, may -be not some day,
so for my salvation do pray!

loved

perhaps you should acquire the habit of looking left, right, behind, under your bed and checking any suspicious packages in the mail.

Seriously, ta mate.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

had I even noticed you were using this name?
I must go check your other postings.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

The play was "Death of a Salesman". Brilliant production, couldn't speak for some time after it finished.
Felt like the Sham 69 song-
"I've got my jumper on the wrong way,
with the label sticking out,
I've been hung out to dry,
but the dirt just won't come out"

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

has a great lead actor, the whole play depends on it

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment
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