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Types
some poems are like haute cuisine
delicately designed
from rich
and exotic ingredients
melded into an esoteric melange
of sumptuous delight
(savor slowly, with wine)
some poems are a mechanical nightmare
clunky and bumpy
clattering wrecks
contraptions
clogged with extraneous
bells and whistles
and strapped to an off-kilter frame
some poems are like popsicles
not very substantial
but cool and fun
with so many different flavors
it's hard to choose just one
whether wacky or witty
or just a bit silly
a Freudian slip
or a giggly quip
they all go down
as easy as a pie
but without the messy
drip
drip
drip
some poems, I regret, are just self serving pity parties
poor me
poor, poor me
nobody loves me
nobody cares
that's all I need to know
that's all anyone needs to know
write it in your diary, bitch
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2018-11-05 00:48
I can't complain...
I like this one! I like the metaphors and the pace is good. You really captured the spirit of reading each kind of poem. I rather enjoyed telling him/her off at the end, I mean... some people, that's all they write about! Sad, really sad, I mean... it's like they want to infect the rest of the world. So yes, write it in your diary! ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
brittle light
Mon, 2018-11-05 23:27
Hey, Gee
the complaint department was closed anyway!
thanks for giving me some specific feedback
I hope the pity partiers don't get too butt hurt and inundate the site with cry baby poems.
thanks, as always
Al
author commentIRiz
Mon, 2018-11-05 17:57
ha ha
ha ha
I love the ending, you made me laugh.
Great poem, thank you for posting it.
I love the description of the clunky poems, i could here the way they whistle and thunder.
I repeat myself over and over again, please, excuse my "appraisals". I just enjoy your poems.
But this time of course i wonder what kind do you think I am writing.
IRiz
brittle light
Mon, 2018-11-05 23:16
and I shall thank you over,
and I shall thank you over, and over again
now to answer your question (with a bit of parody)
some poems are observational and self reflective
I look outward
I see
a scene
reflecting back
onto me
a fresh
reflection of
myself to see
I then
present it
in a poem
for you
to see
the brand new
ME
you see?
you are a joy,
Al
author commentIRiz
Tue, 2018-11-06 08:46
Hi Al,
Hi Al,
You are an evil genius.
Accepting bitter sweet truth of you parody I have to admit that you are right. But I have an excuse, I am so nice and interesting that world has to know about me. It is impossble for me to resist my own cuteness and write about politics or world misery. Hahaha.
On a serious side, fuck! You are so right about my poetry. But world is so overwhelmingly cute!
Why would I write about anything else but a frozen moment in time when I accept, reflect, dissolve in its beauty? It took my whole life to come to see this moment, it will be gone in a blink, I collect it greedily in a piggy bank of my poems.
I have many shiny dimes and quorters.
Help me to polish them, when you have time.
Looking forward to more devastating discoveries, sincerely your fan, I.
IRiz
brittle light
Wed, 2018-11-07 15:13
keep doing you
keep doing you
no need to justify, though your response was superb
it is always about how well you write, not what you write about
and you excel
I like you just the way you are
catch you later,
Al
author commentIRiz
Wed, 2018-11-07 15:31
Thank you Al, you are such a
Thank you Al, you are such a deer. (I am sure it sounds right in English.)
I just posted a fresh dough and blood poem, my attempt to be less controlling and letting my mind to float free. I am afraid it is floating indeed on the same spot. lol
IRiz
Eumolpus
Tue, 2018-11-06 17:41
very true
read most of the poems on the poetry sites, its massively adolescent rants.
Yes, keep it in the diaries, and read poetry just a bit outside Instagram before posting!
Thanks for this one.
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
brittle light
Wed, 2018-11-07 14:42
you're welcome
you're welcome
Al
author commentraj
Wed, 2018-11-07 15:07
may be mine are mechanical
may be mine are mechanical nightmare type ...but I never claim them to be champagne smooth....it's all about DNA...as long as they give me a kick i will keep at it...
.........................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)