Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

How To Face Obligatory Chores With Grace and Cheer

who the hell am I trying to kid!
I can't do it
never knew anyone who could

we can pretend
lie to our selves
say we are working on it
wish we were a better person

but no one
and I mean no one
whoops and hollers
about clearing out the garage
doing their taxes
or dealing with a clogged drain

stop trying to suppress
the scowl,
the pissy attitude
the aggravation

just get to it

let the grouch out
grump away
spout invectives

but don't try to be cheerful about it
you'll just end up pissing the rest of us off

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

There's SO much truth here that it would be redundant to point it all out. So my grumbling and cussing when I do things like plumbing or mech work is OK? Might as well be because I'm not gonna stop.....stan

yes, this here poem doth grant you the privilege to grouse all you want.
if anyone complains about your complaining, just tell them I proclaimed it OK, or better yet, simply tell them to fuck off.
thanks Stan

Al

author comment

there a fee for getting a license to bitch from ya? lol

The poem wants to be read aloud in my mind as i read. Glad you are experimenting with this new style, this voice. It's a "school" of poetry (wonder why they call styles as "schools"?) I think lead by Tony Hogland and is about making poetry very vernacular. Like a bar room chat, Using idioms, street language, like the fist line...making the poem more "intimate" with the reader, as he says.

I do like the form as its easy and open to the world, accessible. Expresses the mood of the times, and the attitude of the writer. I'm sure if you keep working with it you'll also find a way to connect it to the darker side of poetry, satire, death, and all the rest. It's a nice approach to work with.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

I like this form myself. It feels like my natural inclination with words, style and form.
I don't really have a darker side (psychologically) that I feel a need to delve.
I prefer the shallows and light, comme ci, comme ca
but, never say never!

I'll look up Tony Hogland to catch his perspective

thanks for the tip

Al

author comment

Emotional ambivalence, the original sin, if there were such a thing.
best keep it all on the surface, the good the bad, and the ugly.
suppression, repression, depression = BOOM
and that ain't good

thanks Mark for responding

Al

author comment

shouted out the rather vicious curses and stuff in my head; when I know that there are certain "ears" around that shouldn't hear them, but yes, sometimes, I let fly without looking or knowing. Nice to know that it is acceptable to dislike these chores enough to holler invectives and swear at the clumsiness of my attempts to fix something. I like this style as it is something that I make use of frequently. It is direct and usually doesn't need any punctuation. One crit. When you say "lie to our self" it should be [selves].
You were using [we, our] and need to keep the plural. Other than that, nice work! ~ Gee.
.

Comments and critique are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

wearing one's feeling on one's sleeve is usually best in the long run.
saves on crazy pills, and alcohol, and apologies for pent up bursts.

thanks for the grammar tip
.

Al

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.