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Ode To A Space Heater (april contest)

oh, my little humming friend;

for beckoning my cats to
your pastures of warmth,
forsaking my lap
for another place to nap,
I can do nothing
but grunt
forgiveness,
while freely admitting
a bit of jealousy,
we must do what's best for the cats

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

hating the heater for giving the cats a better place to nap, or thanking it? I really got a kick out of this, just not sure of the attitude toward the heater. Your humor shows through. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Ah! life, flush with complex emotional responses...ambivalence be thy name!

this was pared down to the nub... it may have lost some clarity in the process

thanks as always for your input

Al

author comment

I'm thinking that it is clearer now that I've read it a couple of more times. It is just as said: Ambivalence!
Maybe mild regret and a little sadness in losing the warmth of the contact between two species? ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Already full spring here and If I had cats they'd soon be laying in from of air conditioner lol.

I live in the most northern part of New York just a stones throw from the Canadian border.
Winter hangs tough around here pretty much into mid April. Even then, space heaters
are sometimes needed in the evenings through May.
Why I stay, I can assure you, is not the weather.
I should have become a half back, and stayed in the Carolinas on my way up from Florida where I lived for 14 years...you don't have any problems there! lol

Al

author comment

That is hard to cut to the essence. I'm in there till the last line...
I get the idea of the losing your cat's affection to the heater...there's a lot more behind the lines. To answer WHY we must do the best for the cats is left too vague for me. The set up has the theme of this machine winning them over, humming while they are purring with little motors in their throats...to me there's just that missing link.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

OK ...think of the cats as "kids"...whatever squabbles might happen in a relationship
most don't lose sight of the needs of the "kids"; their security, safety, and happiness
I don't think the last line is as clear in its intent as I wanted...but clarity aside, what I meant was; even though I don't get my way, I will not act in any way that would be detrimental to the "kids" and will even patronize as many wishes and wants as possible, and so does the anthropomorphized partner (the heater) despite this contentious affair.
So, whatever is happening, we must do what is best for the Kids"

too much explanation for such a silly little piece!
and your point still stands (ugh!)

Al

author comment

long or short, passion or playful...
Yes I did kind of sense that of course, that the cats were like kids (more dogs of course, people refer to them commonly as their children, but haven't heard that so much about cats, as they are so independent, and if I may say so, so fucking arrogant.

I think if you wanted you could find a way to express that...cats being "royalty", being prima donnas, being like spoiled children, example

we must do what's best for the cats
Catering to them like spoiled brats.

whatever. just a second thought.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

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