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Soraya M.

Submitted by Conect11 on Fri, 2011-01-28 01:03

Can I pray
without uttering a word,
even to God?
Can my hands shake
can I
cover my head with enough ashes?
Could I clothe myself in burlap?
When I close my eyes to sleep,
if Jesus is my Savior,
and not the Savior of the world
what kind of man am I?

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Conect11

Fri, 2011-01-28 10:56

Thank you Ian

It is vital that we share that love without boundaries if we are to be truly human, and not mere animals.

author comment

Psyve

Fri, 2011-01-28 05:09

Conect11

I read into this the questions of faith and repentance/ penance that we ask ousrslves as good human beings.

Why would my God protect me and not my "enemy combatant" on the same battle field. He too may be a good man, perhaps a god fearing family man .. with different ideals, that's all.

What is enough atonement for my sins?

All well expressed in this little gem.

Thank you for sharing this very human question, so humanely.

Psyve

Conect11

Fri, 2011-01-28 10:59