Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Baby's Got a Brand New Drug
Baby's got a brand new drug
and so I am OUT
as her drug of choice.
Baby's got a brand new drug
to feed her addiction
to give her attention
and I am
burnt up
used up
blown up
torn up
beat up
messed up
shot up
tied up
in KNOTS.
And I realized I don't have to be any of those things.
Baby's got a brand new drug
'cause this drug ain't getting smoked no more,
because this drug isn't turning to Ash for the hundredth time.
Baby's got a brand new drug,
with a brand new look
that looks suspiciously like the old brand new drug.
Baby's GOT a brand new drug
who she will smoke just as badly,
who she will smoke or snort
or blow through her veins
til it's
used
abused
fed
and fucked up.
Baby's got a brand new drug
and I for one couldn't be happier.
And I for one
am gonna survive this roller coaster and get back
up the hill on that long slow climb.
I've been around
I've been up
and I've been down
lower than this valley,
baby.
Baby's got a brand new drug
but baby's the one doing the lacing
the tracing
in time she'll do the pacing
spacing out
about
which way is South? Lorain
the stain
Long and Lennox
who cares?
The pain
the drug
what we call it?
Smiles and temporary pleasure
bring me down down down
TAKE ME OUT.
Baby's got a brand new drug
who's hung up
and down
and out
to dry
why?
Because she's a user,
that's why.
Users use,
and survivors survive.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Geezer
Fri, 2018-09-07 14:26
I particulary like...
the " ups" only I'm not sure that "abused up" is quite right grammatically. How about if you say; until it's abused, used up etc...? Glad you got over her. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
raj
Fri, 2018-09-07 16:34
I liked the rock n roll tone
I liked the rock n roll tone and rhythm of this song with its high and low pitches...
.........................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
Eumolpus
Fri, 2018-09-07 17:37
an intersting take on relationship
Your poem has a modern feel. I get it. A fun idea.
I guess today drugs are so part of mainstream culture that you can refer to a person as a drug.
Or I would image we might see a frying pan with fried eggs with the caption "this is your heart on drugs." But of all the drugs, the worst one to me is that one that ruins so many lives, makes most people stupid, violent, and dangerous, has more addicts than all the others put together, and for some reason is not called a drug, is, (sorry), booze.
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
Conect11
Fri, 2018-09-07 18:15
You are correct
alcohol is a hell of a drug, a demon that many can not overcome, or choose not to.
That said, if you saw what this woman did, if you experienced her, you would say the same thing. Of that I have no doubt.
author commentGeezer
Sun, 2018-09-09 09:11
I've seen...
the edit and like what you have done. Nice work! ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.