Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.


We waited for an hour or two
that Sunday afternoon,
crossing the tracks
at the Aurora Metra station
because of the construction.

I didn't know.
I swear I didn't know
that entire week
would be the end of us.

It was hot that day;
we escaped by slipping inside
the concourse
with its sticky floors
and vending machines
and the water fountain the janitor
warned my son about.

Who knew at 10 that night
when the fireworks went off
above Navy Pier
their splendor, their noise
would be our swan song?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


So we haven't "met", I was just looking through "undiscovered works" & found this very lovely work... bit heart breaking & terribly evocative in a realist way.

I found myself right there in my own version of the experience - wonderful in it's smooth flow, it's descriptors & it's articulate communication..

Hope to read more from you.


My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.