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Sideshow
I like the pain,
in some small way.
I kind of like
how it smells and tastes,
and I wear it
because I've got nothing else.
It's amazing how healthy I can feel
when I'm especially unhealthy.
Indeed, it's quite comforting
how uncomfortable I am.
And I have friends,
or old congregants
who view me
as a sideshow.
They'll ask me out to lunch
or drinks
so they can hear the latest gossip
or "my side of things"
before going back to center ring.
And in some ways
I like the anger,
how poisonous it is;
in some ways I'd like it
to simply go away.
I've been told it's unsustainable,
but here it still is
when I'm trapped in my old thoughts.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Vivovon
Tue, 2016-09-06 23:13
pain and anger
The interesting point is that you guided how to handle pain and anger. A very nice piece of "old thoughts."
xxxxx
Geezer
Thu, 2016-09-08 00:31
The feel...
of anger burns bright and by it's light
all reason is hidden in the shadows
Life on the edge being more like the fringe. Nice emotion here.
Nice breaks in the flow to let the reader absorb each salient thought.
Good flow and logical. Nice title.
~ Geezer
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