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Secret Places

In the frantic movements of fractured space
and unforgiving time,
there are still secret places lost to all
when our world was still young enough
to challenge fear with calm certainty
of intimacy we once shared with everything
when innocence held sway,
and savagery was a natural force of simple beauty,
unstained before a frowning unforgiving god gave us
the slow profanity of sin to stain the sacred light
that reached us from the garden,
where the first of us came into precious life
uncursed by sordid thoughts of right and wrong,
and evil cast no whispers of polluting doubt
into the oceans of our endless joy.

Yet still through war and horror,
the rape of land and sea and broken bodies
of innocents destroyed by lust and power,
the secret places still exist,
in an emptiness of breathless waiting filled only
by those of us who slip through
their hidden doors of joyousness
beyond the understanding of mere physicality
where the energies of sacredness still reign
for those of us who listen in the stillness
of our release from greed and malice,
and find grace in the midst of fury made manifest
by the warped sightless-ness of those
too full of grasping avarice to understand.

Soon it will be over, the sickness snuffed out
in sudden furies of raging annihilation,
holocausts of violent end rising as a flood of writhing agony
to rid the groaning world of all the evils
humanity has let prevail over all that it consumes
with slow tortures of greed and mindless profit,
and as the endless corpses rot in sudden silent peace
those few who live beyond the slaughter
will come to know the secret places once again
as forests fill once more the mindless ruin of denuded earth
and oceans slowly return to clarity
as empty cities sink beneath new waves of wilderness
uncaring of the multitudes now dead
and gratefully forgotten.

For in that time after all the evils of
our stupidity are burned away
the sacred Earth will heal,
the secret places will slip
from fractured space and unforgiving time,
and be secret places no more.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I see that we are in agreement on the fate of mankind and the Earth that "we" have come close to destroying. I hope it isn't too late for her recovery. I love these lines:

For in that time after all the evils of
our stupidity are burned away
the sacred Earth will heal
the secret places will slip
from fractured space and unforgiving time,
and be secret no more.

*hugs, Cat

p.s.
I like your title. the poem flows well as to roll of the tongue!! your logic is right on target. excellent work!

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

The demise of our civilizations will not be the first, nor the last, but I always try, as I grow older, to counteract the despair such knowledge reveals with the certainty that things will be better on the other side of mayhem, not only for us, but for the entire world.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

that I was reading from the beginning of a super-hero novel, where the hero [like Dr. Strange] or another was making an intro!
Love the visuals, [as empty cities sink beneath new waves of wilderness] I see vast cities of buildings decaying in green forest of towering trees! Nice job! ~Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Those vast cities of buildings slowly decaying are very real. LADAR reveals that almost all of jungled Central America was once covered with civilization, now buried under wilderness, as the remnants of rain forests reached out to cover them again. Like I told Cat, it will not be the first time...although more of us will die when the next one comes. Our species has survived many such events, catastrophic changes that killed most of us. we have kept these events alive in myths, legends, and apocolyptic beliefs.
Glad you enjoyed this one.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

beautiful
But my opinion
strictly mine only .....poems must be max 19 lines
else they tend to become epics
My views
sir only......

I understand my friend...but there was no way I could pare it down any more!
Glad you enjoyed it.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment
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