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Rendition

it was not until barren plains
 made a home in me,
my lips were chewed
 from the search for something
I didn’t and could never possess
 (I thought)
 
endlessly, I felt awash, 
 chiseling new geography
my dusty visage changed posture,
 carving numbers into my spine
 
I found an answer
 
but was it just too little ?
 pink lines marked the path
but still, I hadn’t wanted to see,
 I clenched my hands
and strange visions of whiteness
 lined every road I travelled …
 
I never looked,
 choosing instead
with a single embrace
 to seduce the dark,
always thinking,
 I could have whatever
end of beginning I sought
 
all it would have taken
 was one step into light,
and my agony
 would have eased
 
my truth was finding
 that nothing is ever over,
in the living of a life
 is the morning of death
perpetually
 
I now see threads of us
 wind around the hand of mother-time,
remembrance being her art
 
but now, I forgive without thought
 sliding between her fingers,
 
unclenching mine

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Just a couple of things....'travelled'.....and is it supposed to be 'morning' or 'mourning' ?...an exercise in homophones! LOL

'always thinking I could have whatever end of beginning I sought'...wow, such a profound line, gets to the heart of the piece. Liked it.

Ells x

Thanks for pointing out travelled I missed it ... And its meant to be morning ... Very glad you liked it

Jc xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

A lovely write, it would be lovely if everyone could see that stepping into the light and rejoicing about life is far better than skulking around in the shadows.
Even though the reality of being able to see things as they are, is sometimes a heavy burden, Loved this one, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Having had depression I think no matter how bad things get you must always look for the beauty or gentlest way to get yourself through each day ... I'm very happy you liked it

Love Jc xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

Double post

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

a sigh-full deliverance
every alternate line sighs
good effect I thought

loved

Glad that you noticed :) I have been working on format and using bold and caps etc just for effect

love Jayne-Chloe xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

thanks for the read and the comment much appreciated :))

Jayne-Chloe xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

Just a couple of small, tiny, tiny, things:-
(but was it too little too late?----This line sounds like a cliché ???

end of beginning I sought)---- is there a need for the Bracket if there is forget I asked lol
Take care keep your comp above water we need to hear from you, will talk in the next day or so, Yours Ian,,Anne, & friends
I have asked Sister Teresa to come with you on Tuesday, if I forget My thoughts are with you also x

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

hmmmm your right about too little too late and I have debated on the brackets but now you have mentioned it i will remove them I wasnt sure if they should be there or not ... thanks for the return visit i will update it now and try and think of another line for that too little too late

love always Jayne-Chloe xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment
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