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Really

I dream of space
of peace
of kindness
I can't sleep for dreaming

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

You dream big.
Big enough to keep you going a long time.
A short and sweet poem with a ton of meaning.
Another Gem from you.
I used to dream of a girl then I realized that she don't dream of me. I don't dream anymore.
It seems these days I go from one little plan to another.
I once read somewhere never to try and make your dreams into a reality. Not sure if that's a good idea, really.
Later,

.
.
That's how I see it,

Mark L.

though sad response, mate.
Whilst I revile faith, I believe in dreams.
Someone asked me recently "What is more important, love or purpose?"
I replied
"Replace love with kindness, which is love in action, and that provides purpose."

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

nice thoughtful expression in this Jess

regards..
.......................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

mate

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

What would we be if we never dreamed? The can't sleep for dreaming line is spot on. Poem's a bit long though ........(just kidding)........stan

it's hard to maintain the pace in these epic sagas.

You know I'm always happiest when I can say what I mean in as few words as possible. Maybe I'm an aphorist (sic?) rather than a poet.

Compression of meaning, that could make a good workshop, wotjareckon?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

I'm into aphorisms.
And (sic?) means spelling or word check, I know I'm sick.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

I like your dreaming, I would recommend Ladybirds for the Aphids.. but please at all costs avoid becoming an aphorist..
It is good to dream without sleeping, it can then be a controlled rational process.
Positive reasoning, even in dreams, builds worlds,
Yours as always, Ian

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

and even worlds.
I can't settle for less than at least saving our world,
then go on to building new ones.
Thanks mate.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

It should have been worlds, just this ole fart leaving letters out thanks for your noticing, I will edit ASAP Yours as always Ian ..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

thought of dreaming as an alternate reality. It's just that sleeping is a different vehicle. Nice work, got me to thinking...

~ Gee.
.

Comments and critique are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

do you mean like vision? Or visionary?
So like:
I have this vision of space
and of peace
and of kindness
I can't sleep for I am a visionary

Would that be an adaptation?

Later,

.
.
That's how I see it,

Mark L.

I would never call myself a visionary.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

First day back & for the first time ever I found something of yours to criticize! Unless u did this on purpose. If u did just give me at least an hour to feel smart before telling me.

"I cannot sleep for dreamin'. I cannot dream but wake and walk about the house as though I'd find u comin' through the door"
The Crucible
By Arthur Miller

It sounded so familiar. Which is especially weird because I've never read that book.
Btw, this is not some kind of "HA!!" moment for me. At the risk of me having missed something & sounding stupid I still felt it might be worth telling u.

Nullus Anxietas

Btw, I can't figure the chat room out. Maybe just nobody's been in there today

I'm going to choose to believe you are taking the piss, otherwise you are just being a cunt.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

chat at the moment, I have been assured that it will be back at some time in the future, but for now, there is no chat.

Comments and critique are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

I can't remember ever commenting anything of any substance on ur work beyond the usual "liked it. Made me feel...". This one included. I liked it. Even liked the discussion of dreams it's inspired here.
I suggested some changes on This Worn Visage that were obviously facetious, so that didn't count.
Now, I'm sure I missed something. Or i probably came off sounding like an ass. So, I'll try again:

It's a short poem that leads to a knockout of a last line. Idk if u intentionally sampled it from the Crucible or, very possibly, never heard of it. With so much content alrdy written it's inevitable that many lines, although independently original, have alrdy been done.

I'm not very good at critiques so i am going to try again & again. Practice. Everyone here is so damn talented, though. I even joked about being an advocate because I'm still a lazy novice.
Didn't mean to take ur piss. I'll always be a fan.

t_f

it was me being a shit.
Thanks for your comments.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

Hmmmmm.........For some reason I think double spacing between each line is called for

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