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Our Particular Type of Madness
There have been times
we have pushed
we have pulled
and we have braced against
whatever was coming next.
There are days
when you can be thermonuclear.
I've been a hydrogen bomb myself,
a time or two.
And I can't erase you out of my head
I can't patch the hole you left in me.
And certainly, well meaning people
tell me that all healing takes time.
But I don't want the cold numbness
these charlatans call "healing."
I just know what is inside me,
anything else is a lie,
no matter what truth is behind it.
And on our worst days,
our terrible, horrible worst days...
you would tell me that's me being arrogant.
And I would just stay silent
and take the abuse that hurts me,
and makes me question who I am
just to get the beautiful moments, too.
Our particular type of madness.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Love the title, but honestly I think this is one of my weaker poems, stylistically. Will be revisiting.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Fri, 2018-07-13 21:08
I too, love...
the title. I rather like the epistle form. It made me feel as though I had been privy to the explosive disagreements that were alluded to. It seemed logical and flowed freely from beginning to end. Only lines I'm not sure I understand are: On our worst days, our terrible, horrible worst days... you would tell me that's me being arrogant. Did you mean to say? you would tell me, that it is me! Me being arrogant.
Better poetry through punctuation. Lol
~ Geezer...
.
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raj
Sat, 2018-07-14 05:15
I liked the progression of
I liked the progression of the poem beginning with a graphic of persona leading to introspection and concluding with reason for the situation...very good use of language and rhythm..
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raj (sublime_ocean)