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OPEN BOOK

Submitted by ziggy on Tue, 2010-11-23 15:13

I reside within a room, book
in hands eyes consumed
on the pages between the
lines forming pictures from
words entwined.

without interruption
I read it through impressions
of an author I never knew.

thought brought to a place
where it is witnessed by
the here and now, open to
endless possibility's
which are disciplined only by
the limitations set out by
ourselves and others around us.

like thought echoed by
predeceasing generations
for us in fact and rhyme
written and bound
sealed in time.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

ziggy

Thu, 2010-11-25 16:00

hey there hi, what can i say but thank you for a great comment
inspiration comes to us all in different ways cheers ,,,,,,,,,zigs x

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

ziggy

Thu, 2010-11-25 16:02

hi there wow my write reminded you of this
cheers jayne , infact im glad you posted it
thank you ,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

loved

Tue, 2010-11-23 20:18

loved's picture

howz it going
gr888888

not seen uuuuuuuuuu

of late

loved

ziggy

Thu, 2010-11-25 16:03

hi there glad you dropped by
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Race_9togo

Tue, 2010-11-23 20:22

Race_9togo's picture
Volunteer badge

A good book, timeless, duration-stopping, and eternally good.

Nothing to critique, just excellent poetry.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

lou

Tue, 2010-11-23 23:46

lou's picture

Great poem, but the third stanza could do with a tweak, maybe the first line could start with brought and line five could start with disciplined. I feel it will read better this way.

I really enjoyed the poem.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

ziggy

Thu, 2010-11-25 16:04

hi lou i hear what your saying
but i'd prefer to leave it as is
glad you read this one ,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Hooded Stranger

Thu, 2010-11-25 17:28

Hooded Stranger's picture

Zigs,

apologies for missing this little gem, I didn't realise it had been posted.

Obviously I have had the luxury of reading this before in it's first draft...and I am pleased to see you haven't changed a word of that draft (or have I missed it?)

This is your image packed poetry style to a tee.

Obviously the book you are reading is 'Nine'...lol!

Loved this stanza:

thought brought to a place
where it is witnessed by
the here and now, open to
endless possibility's
which are disciplined only
by the limitations set out by
ourselves and others around us.

Good job, great write and one of your best!

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

ziggy

Fri, 2010-11-26 17:17

hello yes you are normally the first to read my babbling mind lol
" image packed poetry " I like that indeed cheers man , but i already
knew your thoughts on this which might be why I never told ya it was posted lol
but I am afraid the book I am reading at the moment is THE BOOK of STYX "
which cat so very kindly sent to me, but yes I have read your "nine " story
hood and it is action packed with sublime detail ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Hooded Stranger

Sun, 2011-03-27 15:27

Hooded Stranger's picture

Zigs,

Nine will always come second place against the mighty Styx...I am happy to be second placed.

Styx is bloody marvellous ain't it?...which is why I used a poem from Cat's book to add into Nine.

regards,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

Candlewitch

Mon, 2010-11-29 11:14

Candlewitch's picture
Volunteer badge

A great write, all the verses are top quality, but the one that lingers is this:

like thought echoed by
predeceasing generations
for us in fact and rhyme
written and bound
sealed in time.

love, cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

ziggy

Mon, 2010-12-20 10:06

thank you so much for the read and comment
cheers hope your feeling ok ,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Kailashana2

Mon, 2010-12-20 10:26

Hey Zigs,

I could have sworn i pushed send a few days ago, apparently not. Anywho, I love the room in which your head wrapped itself around your thoughts and birthed your words. :-) JC was right in quoting a Neruda poem... who always adds other dimensions.

A couple of thoughts/spelling questions

thought brought to a place
where it is witnessed by
the here and now, open to
endless possibilities*
(which are)** disciplined only
by the limitations set out by
ourselves and others around us

*Plural no?

**Omit *which are* ???

~Anna

p.s. Barry said hi. Though these are my thoughts only.

ziggy

Fri, 2010-12-24 14:25

yes I see what your saying and it makes sense
i will edit , here's wishing you and barry a very
merry/happy xmas ,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Hooded Stranger

Fri, 2010-12-24 18:29

Hooded Stranger's picture

Zigs,

I noticed this one had received some more comments and since I love this piece I thought I would re-visit it to read the comments and the poem one more time.

It is still awesome!

Have a great Xmas,

HS

--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

ziggy

Fri, 2010-12-24 18:45

cheers my good man
i hope you oliver and family have
a great xmas ,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Hooded Stranger

Fri, 2010-12-24 19:02

Hooded Stranger's picture

Zigs,

don't get to see Oliver until Boxing day unfortunately. Then I have him for two days of mayhem and excitement...I can't wait.

When will you see yours?

HS

--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

ziggy

Sat, 2010-12-25 16:18

ah enjoy your time with Oliver, they grow up quick lol,
I saw mine xmas eve gave them the presents, they always
get to much from my family lol chat soon my friend ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,enda

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Pixee

Sun, 2011-03-27 06:29

Pixee's picture

I thoroughly enjoyed your poem. I can see myself in this poem. I do a lot of reading, novel, poetry,
short stories, etc. I can see the picture you are drawing with words. It is oh so real. I thank you for
writings. You have a great talent in writing. Keep on writing my friend. Read you later.
Friends,
Pixee

ziggy

Sun, 2011-03-27 15:25

glad you dropped by
and glad you enjoyed this one cheers for the thumbs up ,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment
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