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old man brent

It's a cold bitter day
the wind bites like needles
head held low, wind chimes
beckon from the open fields
to the shelter of his elders
woods, a cabin quaint and humble
place enough to potter and mumble
where he kneels beneath the smoke
stained stone vent.

kindle wood in hands to light the fire
helped on by his old leather bellows
a gust makes good the flame.

with time on hand and pipe on lip
he lays right back and takes a sip
old man brent demure, content

old man brent lived a
quiet descent who lent
an ear to the wild,
travelled to town on his
horse and cart always
up with the lark an
early start.

made his own wine from
elderberry fine, where he
drank in the evening of his
own decline.

he played his fathers fiddle
that high pitched hey diddle
diddle, fingertips hardened
aged and brittle.

the years are closing in on
the old man from fresh pine
hill sitting on the rocks where
his fore-bearers sat, ending
his days on the shores of his
youth, old man brent his far
way stare, smiles.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

it funny that all your suggestions are all in part one
as I wrote that part a couple of years ago and posted
it here on old neo and I could not find part one so I
wrote it from memory not easy done after two years lol
I am glad you like this one of mine, when I posted this first
folk wanted a follow up to it, it took me this long to open the
old pages lol , I will look at your suggestions tomorrow the
pillow is calling me lol cheers for all ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

I very much like Bee's suggestions. The poem flows very nicely and the theme is one I can identify with (my birthday is tomorrow and I am horrified by it. A big landmark birthday) Great title, by the way. I'm sorry I cannot pick favorite parts because it is all so wonderful.

Love, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

HAPPY BIRTHDAY wishes from me to you xxxxxxxxxxx
changes made cheers bee,,,,,,,,,,
I wish I could find part one lol ,,cheers cat ,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

I just wish I could find part one of this as it was on old neo cheers for the comment
as it was rewritten from memory,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Zigs,

I remember the first part from old Neo, like you, I can't recall it word for word but you got most if it about right.

You managed to keep the image I had of Old man Brent into the second poem...which after a long break between writing the two, was a good job well done.

Good images created with this, I can almost see this man.

I would have linked the two poems with this:

he played his fathers fiddle
that high pitched hey diddle
diddle, fingertips hardened
aged and brittle.

since it feels like a chorus and would sit well in the middle of the poem, making it one piece.

Really enjoyed this one and the new addition of part II,

regards,

HS

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glad you remember this one, can hardly remember it my self lol,
I thought you might like them lines , cheers,
I would like to link the two in one without part one or two
as always cheers for your comment ,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

I'm so glad you enjoyed them lines you
pointed out they are my fav too,,,,,,,,,,,
cheers for stopping by ,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Loved the woody atmosphere, could almost smell the sap in the trees. Don't believe you need to say part two, ruins the flow.

Could imagine this being one of a series of poems.

Love Louise

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

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