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SAFFRON SPICE

a garden of saffron
irrigated parched land
flowers picked at dawn
before midday sun wither.

fresh spice exotic delight
purple petals cups its
essence till harvest picks
plucks its stigmas trice.

inhale its wealthy odour
pure indulgence
powered deep red
natures seasoned aroma.

shipped abroad
since wooden gallows
eastern promise
saffron spice.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

yes the spice of life indeed lol
cheers shirl glad you stopped by
,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

I like this one, especially the first stanza, but stanza 1 line 2, i think should say parched. Stanza 2 line 2 should say cup,stanza 2 line 4 should say pluck I think.

Apart from that I think this a beautiful poem, my friend.

Love Louise xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

I will look at your suggestions, but I did look into
this before writing it, ,chat soon ,,,,,,,,,,and thank you
for the read ,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

I really liked this, especial this stanza,
"inhale its wealthy odour
pure indulgence
powered deep red
natures seasoned aroma"

Puerto Ricans are big on this spice seens the stone age.
great lines in this one!
Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

cheers for the comment, I am glad you
enjoyed this one, that's a fav stanza of mine too
check your words out later on ,,,,,,thanks ,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Zigs,

as you know, I have read this one previously and gave you feedback and critique pre- Neo.

I still like this poem, a different subject for you my friend.

A good poem,

HS

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LOL yes I know what you mean this does not have
the ziggy feel to it lol, I was just trying to mix things up a
bit I guess and it was wrote from watching TV ,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

Every line is perfection. But if I had to pick favorite lines, they would be:

shipped abroad
since wooden gallows
eastern promise
saffron spice.

This has a dreamy far away quality to it.
I'm so glad you have returned and I hope you found adventure in your travels. But it is soooo good to have you back!

love, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

I am delighted you approve cheers
I am a bit under the weather with a
head cold it just won't go away lol
Its nice to feel wanted cheers cat
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

I like this one, the way it flows, the subtle taste of it reminding me of the flavor and aroma of that delicate and rich spice.

A few things...

I wanted to read "parched instead of "parch" in the first stanza, and I had problems understanding "before midday sun wither", before I finally read it as "before midday sun's wither".

In the second stanza, "picks" and plucks": if "picks" are pickers, should "plucks" reflect this, and be singular instead? Also, "trice"...did you mean "in a trice", or "thrice", as in three times?

In the last stanza, "gallows" threw me off, it's implications of death and execution seem incongruous in the context of the poem's atmosphere. Perhaps "galleons", or "galleys" instead?

Hope this helps.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

thanks for the interest I wrote this while looking at a documentary about exotic spice and it history trade routes
and how and when it is harvested, the land where is was grown was referred to as parch land in the documentary and showed how it was irrigated, when it is ready to be harvested the hot sun can wither the flower head so they are harvested early morning , hence that line, the picks/plucks were used as they pluck the petals
before removing the stigmas which is where the spice comes from as they have three of them and not the normal 1, gallows was used in reference to when and how long the spice has being sought after and shipped abroad cheers hope this helps ,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment

I see you have had many suggestions, so I will say that I like the poem. I did have a concern about irrigated parch land. I wanted to read it as “parched irrigated land.” I also wonder if irrigated land is parched. Seems a contradiction to me but I am not expert in agriculture, especially irrigated land.

vexations

hey there my reasoning behind this one was taken by watching a documentary about the theme
but I may have to concede to the 'parched' ,,,,,,,,this is not my usual theme its a bit to happy for me
to be honest lol cheers for the comment ,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

author comment
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